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Most of it is on AO3 at pearwaldorf but shorter works reside on Tumblr.
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PERCY: This place is the human soul. This is what we have built with our tiny moments. To lose a place like this, we don’t feel it immediately, but it would ruin everyone in small ways. This is good we’re doing here. This is great good. And it’s not about idolizing ourselves; it’s about a very long story, which we are, even you, a tiny part of.MATT: At this moment, you look down and notice that, while you guys were having this talk, a small child has walked up to the wall and where Percy has stopped the carving, the child has picked up a piece of wayward chalk that was on the ground and has begun to draw little stick figures on the wall where you stopped. And in a little bit of the quiet, he stops and looks up over his shoulder at the two of you and smiles, and then just goes back to writing on the wall.
Within Tarot, one of the cards I most think about is “The Tower,” which is a sign of “sudden, disruptive, revelation and potentially destructive change.” The reason for this is evident in the art on the card, where you see bodies thrown from the tower, lightning crashing, fire, and the disaster of it coming crumbling down. This is representative of when the support structures in our life (often self-built) come tumbling down. Sometimes it’s literal, sometimes it’s relationships, sometimes it’s our own sense of self, sometimes it’s all three at once. And when they are destroyed, our sense of everything we hold dear goes along with it. While it may feel like death, it is not death. It is just the true face of hardship.In that way TLJ is valuable, because it forces us to identify what we consider most important about Star Wars. It's not going to be the same for everybody, nor would I expect it to be. But I think we are better, more sure, for having done the consideration.Because the moments where the tower crashes are the moments that inspire the most self-reflection. And the simpler truth is that the tower of Star Wars has crashed many, many times before, for many, many different people and for many, many different reasons. For some it fell at the mere sight of an Ewok. My tower fell with the prequels. Somebody’s surely did with The Last Jedi. Or even for a business person within Disney, it may have been Solo. Everyone has their own story with Star Wars, both personal and universal. But Star Wars itself never crashes. That’s because of “the core,” and I don’t think it ever will. It’s just our idea of what it “is” to us that continually crashes, time and time again.When the towers of our lives crash, we can learn to understand what is really important to us. We learn to see ourselves and what we want to really believe in. We can rebuild them. This is actually the same reason an aggrieved Star Wars fan wants to remake The Last Jedi. But wanting to rebuild towers in the same unhealthy ways we did before leads nowhere good. Just as a toxic relationship with one’s own fandom leads nowhere good (just like a toxic relationship with anything). You will rebuild poorly again and again, and it will fall time and time again. The simple action is to take stock of the fact we are O.K. standing in the earth and mud, that we are still alive, and then set forth to build our towers in the healthiest of ways. To understand our traumas, to understand others, to understand the heart of what we want.
In your own space, talk about your Happy Place—the things that give you joy, calms you or keeps you sane. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
I find putting things in order very soothing. Which is both unsurprising (I have a library and information science degree) and hilarious if you know how messy I tend to be. ( tag wrangling digression/grumping )
Nowadays, I scratch that itch doing work for crtranscript, a fan project that captions episodes of Critical Role. Mostly I edit and timeset captions. It's a thing I'm damn proud to be part of, because it has such tangible benefits for so many people, and the work we do is professional caliber.
I also do a weekly cat care shift at a local shelter. Usually I'm in charge of the kittens, and the other person does the cats. It's very satisfying to see immediate results of the things I do, even if sometimes it results in unpleasant litterbox disasters. I enjoy watching the kittens become less shy and more outgoing, and spending time with the ones that are already friendly and well-socialized.
Lest you think I am nothing but virtuous, I also spend a great deal of time laying in bed playing stupid mobile games. Right now there's a lot of Angry Birds Match, and various Picross games (Two Eyes is my current favorite, Hungry Cat Picross is more difficult but you get a cat and unlockable customizations). They scratch the same sort of putting things in order itch the other things do, but with less positive impact.
1. Your main fandom of the year?
Critical Role, probably, with side ventures into Venom, Voltron, and Hannibal.
2. Your favorite film watched this year?
I liked a lot of things for different reasons. Venom and Aquaman are stupid, schlocky brain candy. Black Panther, Get Out, and Widows were fucking brilliant re-imaginings of old genres. Crazy Rich Asians had people who looked like me, and I got to hear my mom say "I recognize this experience from my own life" about it.
3. Your favorite book read this year?
I only read two this year /o\ and I liked them both for different reasons. Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay is a great little collection of essays. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is a book that makes you feel less alone about being a writer.
4. Your favorite TV show of the year?
It didn't feel like a very TV-heavy year for me. I've been watching Hannibal on the bus, and I do like it a lot. I also watched a ton of Voltron and it's a perfectly fine show that does not deserve its fandom one bit.
5. Your favorite online fandom community of the year?
Twitter and Tumblr pocket friends! They are my sanity check and encouragement.
6. Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
The Arcana visual novel. I found it when I was going through a brief otome games phase and it's the only one that's actually stuck, probably because the writing is great and the art is beautiful. I love all the characters and I find almost all of their romance paths satisfying (Julian took a while to get there, but I'm glad to see he's getting actual character growth).
7. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
Infinity War, probably. But what else is new?
8. Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Not from TV (or even a boy, but he uses he/him pronouns), but Asra from The Arcana. He has pretty floofy white hair and purple eyes. There's only so much I can resist in the face of that.
9. Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Again, also not TV, but Nakia from Black Panther.
10. Your biggest squee moment of the year?
A revelation about your PC concerning the plague in The Arcana that is revealed only through Asra's path. I may have shrieked a little. The new Critical Role campaign.
11. The most missed of your old fandoms?
Did I have time to miss fandoms this year? I don't feel like I did.
12. The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Killing Eve. I still need to see Into the Spiderverse.
13. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
Finishing up Voltron. Watching the rest of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Men in Black: International. GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS. LOOK AT THIS RIDICULOUSNESS. MY BODY IS SO FUCKING READY. Captain Marvel.