pearwaldorf: a b&w picture of Carrie Fisher in the Hoth outfit from ESB. She has a big grin on her face. (Default)
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Please feel free to follow/unfollow at will. 

My Writing

Most of it is on AO3 at [archiveofourown.org profile] pearwaldorf but shorter works reside on Tumblr

Transformative Works Policy

In the unlikely event you would actually do such a thing, blanket permission for derivative works (sequels, remixes, podfic, fanart, etc.) is granted, provided you link me back to it so I can flail at you. Credit and a link back to the original work is appreciated, but not necessary. If a work is archive-locked, please archive-lock the derivative work as well. Thanks.
pearwaldorf: a line drawing of a human heart. red roses are stuck through it (misc - roses heart)
Through the "magic" of Twitter, I've seen many bits of footage posted of the spire at Notre Dame falling, but watching it once was enough. And then I thought, if there's video footage of the Buddhas at Bamiyan being blown up, I never want to see it.

The loss of life and the loss of cultural artifacts/history are both things to grieve, but the latter is something that hits hard in a way that I find difficult to deal with. There's a bit in the first campaign of Critical Role that sums this up in a way that's always stuck with me:

PERCY: This place is the human soul. This is what we have built with our tiny moments. To lose a place like this, we don’t feel it immediately, but it would ruin everyone in small ways. This is good we’re doing here. This is great good. And it’s not about idolizing ourselves; it’s about a very long story, which we are, even you, a tiny part of.
 
MATT: At this moment, you look down and notice that, while you guys were having this talk, a small child has walked up to the wall and where Percy has stopped the carving, the child has picked up a piece of wayward chalk that was on the ground and has begun to draw little stick figures on the wall where you stopped. And in a little bit of the quiet, he stops and looks up over his shoulder at the two of you and smiles, and then just goes back to writing on the wall.

I thought I had more to say, but I'm just sad and overwhelmed.
pearwaldorf: a b&w picture of Carrie Fisher in the Hoth outfit from ESB. She has a big grin on her face. (Default)
I somehow missed this piece from Film Crit Hulk about The Last Jedi, but I'm really glad I found it in my read it later pile. I don't agree with a lot of his conclusions, but he at least states his points well and I understand where he's coming from.

I have not rewatched TLJ since I saw it in the theater. I will at some point during this year, just to refresh my memory before Episode IX comes out. I find it difficult to extricate the Watsonian elements from the Doylist ones, especially knowing about how things were put together (the ADR in many of Holdo's scenes so Poe is literally not reacting to the same words we hear, Rian Johnson not wanting to write scenes to flesh out Finn and Rose).

It's always difficult to do middle movies, especially when it's going to be compared to Empire (which is objectively the best Star Wars movie), and you don't know what's going to happen in the third. I don't envy Rian Johnson that task, and there are definitely places where I think he fell down/didn't show his work, but I'm still of the opinion TLJ is the movie that had to be made to save the franchise:
Within Tarot, one of the cards I most think about is “The Tower,” which is a sign of “sudden, disruptive, revelation and potentially destructive change.” The reason for this is evident in the art on the card, where you see bodies thrown from the tower, lightning crashing, fire, and the disaster of it coming crumbling down. This is representative of when the support structures in our life (often self-built) come tumbling down. Sometimes it’s literal, sometimes it’s relationships, sometimes it’s our own sense of self, sometimes it’s all three at once. And when they are destroyed, our sense of everything we hold dear goes along with it. While it may feel like death, it is not death. It is just the true face of hardship.

Because the moments where the tower crashes are the moments that inspire the most self-reflection. And the simpler truth is that the tower of Star Wars has crashed many, many times before, for many, many different people and for many, many different reasons. For some it fell at the mere sight of an Ewok. My tower fell with the prequels. Somebody’s surely did with The Last Jedi. Or even for a business person within Disney, it may have been Solo. Everyone has their own story with Star Wars, both personal and universal. But Star Wars itself never crashes. That’s because of “the core,” and I don’t think it ever will. It’s just our idea of what it “is” to us that continually crashes, time and time again.

When the towers of our lives crash, we can learn to understand what is really important to us. We learn to see ourselves and what we want to really believe in. We can rebuild them. This is actually the same reason an aggrieved Star Wars fan wants to remake The Last Jedi. But wanting to rebuild towers in the same unhealthy ways we did before leads nowhere good. Just as a toxic relationship with one’s own fandom leads nowhere good (just like a toxic relationship with anything). You will rebuild poorly again and again, and it will fall time and time again. The simple action is to take stock of the fact we are O.K. standing in the earth and mud, that we are still alive, and then set forth to build our towers in the healthiest of ways. To understand our traumas, to understand others, to understand the heart of what we want.
In that way TLJ is valuable, because it forces us to identify what we consider most important about Star Wars. It's not going to be the same for everybody, nor would I expect it to be. But I think we are better, more sure, for having done the consideration. 
pearwaldorf: a b&w picture of Carrie Fisher in the Hoth outfit from ESB. She has a big grin on her face. (Default)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
According to Oscar Isaac, Artoo's name in Spanish is "Arturito", or little Arthur. How I lived my life without knowing this I do not know.
 
pearwaldorf: a b&w picture of Carrie Fisher in the Hoth outfit from ESB. She has a big grin on her face. (Default)
Stolen from [personal profile] violacea 

"If your fic were an album, what would the track list be?"

The popular, catchy one: we wore the jacket for the longest time, the Finn/Poe/Rey clothes sharing/Poe is depressed and pining fic. Sometimes, everything comes together at exactly the right time, and you get picked up by The Claw.

The obscure early one no one bought at the time: human sacrifice and mass hysteria, a Cullen/Dorian fic. It feels like it gained popularity rather slowly despite being in the early wave of fics in the tag, and it still gets an upsurge of kudos every now and then.

The "experimental" one, written when you were possibly on some substance: Not a fic, but a vid: Away. To. This was pretty much "I figured out filters in FCP, let's see what I can do!"

The slushy one: I can't tell if "slushy" means disgustingly sweet, but I'm going to go with that. A toss-up between how galaxies collide and (and if you think it's fine) will you lay your head next to mine. Finn/Rey lends itself to disgustingly sweet, what can I say?

The brash, loud one, mid album: I don't really do brash or loud, so I'm just going to give you two stories on a motif (spin the bottle): you know I love it, so please don't stop it, and my turn in a minute (gonna put my message in it).

The bitter one about your ex/former manager/cat: The closest I came to bitter is We can talk it so good (how you wish it would be all the time), the one about Ben Solo and his Skywalker heritage.

The one only you like, you insular weirdo: Soldiers and high castles, my Akela Amador POV canon divergence AU where Steve jumped off the train after Bucky.

The genre-hopping crossover hit: and if it's just tonight well it's all in love, the Adoribull fic I wrote for a 24 hour challenge. It's my one actual Adoribull story, and the one most contrarily written to my usual method (slow and agonizing). 

The one where you tried to be "modern": I have no idea wtf this means so I'm just going to throw in a smutty fic: at least we stole the show, Karen/Foggy/Matt. I still like it.

The anthemic final track: (let me come home) home is wherever I'm with you, a Horizon: Zero Dawn fic I did for Yuletide.
pearwaldorf: a b&w picture of Carrie Fisher in the Hoth outfit from ESB. She has a big grin on her face. (Default)
A list of excellent meals/dishes consumed by me on my trip to Alaska:

Fried chicken at the Lucky Wishbone in Anchorage, which somehow manages to be beautifully crispy and juicy at the same time. Primo fries, and handmade shakes that are the perfect size. 

Slow cooker pork shoulder made by my husband, so tender it fell apart with a fork. We were going to make tacos out of the leftovers but ran out of time, alas.

Reindeer sausage and black bean soup at Bobby's Cafe in Chugiak. The one thing I do wish the lower 48 or Seattle would import down from the Great White North is reindeer sausage. 

The best tamales I've had in a long time at La Fiesta in Palmer. (If you're ever in the Anchorage area, take a drive into the Matanuska Valley past Wasilla and into Palmer. It's only about an hour and surprisingly charming, and the scenery is just stupid beautiful the entire way there and back.)

Fried halibut at Momma O's, which my husband said tasted exactly the same as it did when he last went there decades ago. It was so fucking good. They also make decent pie. 
pearwaldorf: a b&w picture of Carrie Fisher in the Hoth outfit from ESB. She has a big grin on her face. (Default)
I watched a movie and I can't decide if it was narratively unsatisfying or not.

Spoilers for a movie (Spinning Man) most of you probably don't give a shit about

Read more... )

And I am annoyed I have spent so much time thinking about this mediocre piece of media, but hopefully this gets it out of my head.
pearwaldorf: black widow with explosions behind her (avengers - black widow explosions)
It's not that I don't like Captain Marvel, but I think I wanted to like her much more than I actually do, and my time with Marvel comics and the MCU has been sort of a slow coming to terms with that. I don't have the same sort of visceral emotional connection with Carol the same way I do with Kamala Khan or Natasha. Which is not to say it's anybody's fault, but I was much less hype about the movie than many of my friends. I wasn't actually going to see it opening weekend but it was at a theater near a place I needed to run an errand, so why not.

It was much more emotionally affecting than I expected. People are going to say things like "Oh this should have been released ten years ago, now it's just the market catching up." I don't disagree that we should have had this way sooner than we got it (especially considering both Black Panther and Captain Marvel got pushed back to make room for Spider-Man: Homecoming), but it doesn't mean we still don't need it now.

Read more... )

At the movie theater, there was a young boy (10-ish) who was so hype to see the movie. On the way out, we saw another little boy in a Captain Marvel outfit. It was good for the spirit.
pearwaldorf: a bisexual flag color themed d20 surrounded by crystals, flowers, and a blue mana potion, all in the same palette (misc - bi d20)
Wyrmwood Gaming, maker of beautiful tabletop gaming accessories, put up a little featurette about how they made Matt Mercer's new DM screen.


This is incredibly soothing and at the same time ridiculously pornographic. 
pearwaldorf: (da2 - hawke closeup)
I know that lists are always subjective, but any article that discusses bad Dragon Age dates without mentioning Anders is objectively fucking wrong. He literally drags you through the sewers to get material for his pipe bomb and basically says "If you loved me you wouldn't ask me what I need this for." And then he blows up a Chantry.

And to add further insult, David Gaider had to chime in with his own stupid opinions about the validity of the list and inserting his own wrong opinions about characters he fucking wrote. It is amazing to me that he can be so obtuse and churlish about characters I thought he understood, like Alistair and Fenris. They're both fucked up, which is definitely reflected in the relationships (romantic or not) you have with them. But to say they're as bad or worse to date than a fucking terrorist, traitor/child murderer, and dickish old god? Come the fuck on.

I am trying this new faux whisperspace thingI feel very strongly about accurate character interpretation OK? I'll go with you anywhere as long as I can see a logical progression from the canon to your conclusion. But if you just do something and insist this is the same character, that's when I get annoyed. idc if you created them to begin with.
pearwaldorf: shepard and garrus shooting bottles on the citadel (me - s&g bottles)
(note to self: need food icon)

I went to Chicago last week, because my company thinks the ass end of January is an excellent time to have a company meeting. [twitter.com profile] juleshastweets and I went to Band of Bohemia, which is probably the only Michelin-starred restaurant I will ever be able to afford to eat at (unless you count that one hawker stand in Singapore). We looked at the beer menu and decided 10:00 wasn't too early for a flight.

The food was amazing and artfully prepared. I had shrimp and grits and it was sublime: a drizzle of red eye gravy, lardons of bacon, and a little bit of chard to cut through the richness. Also they had chocolate malt cured bacon and it was honestly the best fucking bacon I've ever had in my life: the perfect balance between crispy and chewy that ensured I will never be able to become a vegan. 

The best thing we had were the madeleines with candied citrus and matcha white chocolate ganache. The madeleines were fresh out of the oven and now I understand why Proust was so damn hype about them. The edges were perfectly crisp, and together with the candied citrus (I think they were kumquats?) and the ganache they were amazing. I'm sure the dish would have been quite good at room temperature but the madeleines being fresh elevated it to something amazing. I am legitimately upset I now know this is a thing that exists in the world and I can't have it whenever I want. So I guess I have to learn how to make madeleines and ganache.
pearwaldorf: (books - reading is sexy)
It has been a great while (seven years, if Goodreads is to be trusted) since I've read more than ten books a year. It is not a state of things I'm particularly happy with, but my ability to focus on things for an extended and continuous period of time has not been great. 

When I actually do get to reading, it tends to be during travel. For whatever reason I find it easier to focus when I have lots and lots of slack time. But! I read a book this month! And it was amazing! I missed it a lot!

So I read the first book in Tamora Pierce's Numair series, Tempests and SlaughterRead more... )
pearwaldorf: (misc - get excited)
Day 8

In your own space, post self-recs for at least three fanworks that you created. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I am still pleased by a couple short character pieces I did for campaign 1 of Critical Role: can we get a little grace (Cassandra de Rolo) and Kintsukuroi (Kynan).

I am usually an incredibly slow writer, so I'm very pleased this piece (nsfw) I banged out (heh) in less than 24 hours for the Adoribull porn challenge holds up quite well. 

Here is a terribly melancholy Bodhi/Galen piece I did for Chocolate Box a couple years ago.

I feel like one of the nicest things is getting enough critical and emotional distance from things you've written that you can legit enjoy them. I'm quite proud of this Karen/Foggy/Matt porn.
pearwaldorf: a foggy mirror with a heart drawn on it. a little speech bubble in the middle says "you" (misc - love you)
Day 6

In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your wish-list if you feel comfortable doing so. Maybe someone will grant a wish. Check out other people's posts. Maybe you will grant a wish. If any wishes are granted, we'd love it if you link them to this post.

I would like a modern (as in post-2008) guide to vidding for beginners. Not how to find source or use a NLE type stuff (that's easy), but incredibly basic things like "wtf is a NLE, why shouldn't I use iMovie or Windows Movie Maker, how to clip, do I even need to clip?" It was all stuff that I thought would have been easily accessible, but was super not. I can write one, but if somebody else has already done the thing, that's even better.
 
More fic for Critical Role campaign 1 rare(r)pairs. I feel like the big ships just took over when they became canon (like Percy/Vex) and elbowed out consideration for anything else. Grog/Keyleth, Grog/Vax, Percy/Pike, Pike/Vax? (And a real fucking long-shot, but Kynan/Jarett?) Give it to meeeee.

Concrit on my writing and vids from people I trust is always something I want/need, but it's hard because it's kind of time-intensive.

I need new icons, now that I'm back on Dreamwidth. The problem is I don't really know what things I want icons of. The big stuff is covered, but I have so many other slots to fill!


pearwaldorf: martha jones from doctor who (dw - martha smirky)
Shoutout to [community profile] plainstyles who is doing the Lord's work by making beautiful, elegant, and responsive(!!) Dreamwidth layouts. If you are in need of a new layout, check them out. 

I also have some layouts saved here, but I haven't looked at the older ones in forever and have no idea how well they still work.
pearwaldorf: (books - reading is sexy)
Day 3

In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon (a TV episode, a song, a favorite interview, a book, a scene from a movie, etc) and explain why you love it so much. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

First, a salty digression you are free to skip.
Read more... )
I don't remember where I was when I first saw Many Moons, the first video from her EP Metropolis Suite 1: The Chase. But I can tell you it blew my goddamn mind. 2008 was still in the tail end of some real bad years for (pop) music, when "Bad Romance" felt like a revelation, and Many Moons wasn't like anything I'd ever heard before. It still isn't.

Everything about the video is high-concept and sci-fi as shit, but centers a black woman--many copies of a black woman in fact. The way she connects the plight of the androids and the black experience isn't original to sci-fi or probably even Afrofuturism, but the way in which she does it, in just six minutes? This is stellar worldbuilding that makes you want to immerse yourself in everything it has to offer.

I'm not going to lie, it's pretty dense, and like I said, high-concept as shit. It's not meant for everybody, but for the people it speaks to, it does so very strongly. I'm so glad we get to see more of the world she started building in Metropolis in Archandroid and Electric Lady, and whenever she wants to finish up Cindi Mayweather's story, there are lots of people who will be glad to hear it.


pearwaldorf: a foggy mirror with a heart drawn on it. a little speech bubble in the middle says "you" (misc - love you)
Day 2

Rec at least three fanworks that you didn’t create. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Below are the last three fics I read and enjoyed. I also made a list of fics from this year's Yuletide that I liked, and here are my gifts.

when you and I collide by [archiveofourown.org profile] lizzen (Game of Thrones, Daenerys Targaryen/Jon Snow)
(S7 spoilers I guess, incest)
I don't actually go here but sometimes I read the fic anyways? The first chapter is some nice PWP, the second is melancholy reflection. 

Ebb and Flow
 by [archiveofourown.org profile] ladybug_21 (Aquaman, Atlanna & Vulko backstory)
(spoilers for movie)
Really dig this deep dive (heh) into a relationship that's hinted at but not explored at all in the movie. 

some sun has got to rise by [archiveofourown.org profile] allapplesfall (Critical Role, Pike-centric) 
(spoilers for campaign 1, death of a parental figure) 
This wonderfully chewy long fic about Pike dealing with Wilhand's death is really really good and made me cry multiple times because it has hit me in the goolies about the death of a grandparent. 

pearwaldorf: Will Graham sitting in front of a wall. His expression is blank. (hannibal - will wall)
I finished S2 of Hannibal today.

Read more... )
pearwaldorf: a line drawing of a human heart. red roses are stuck through it (misc - roses heart)

Day 1

In your own space, talk about your Happy Placeā€”the things that give you joy, calms you or keeps you sane. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I find putting things in order very soothing. Which is both unsurprising (I have a library and information science degree) and hilarious if you know how messy I tend to be. tag wrangling digression/grumping )


Nowadays, I scratch that itch doing work for crtranscript, a fan project that captions episodes of Critical Role. Mostly I edit and timeset captions. It's a thing I'm damn proud to be part of, because it has such tangible benefits for so many people, and the work we do is professional caliber.

I also do a weekly cat care shift at a local shelter. Usually I'm in charge of the kittens, and the other person does the cats. It's very satisfying to see immediate results of the things I do, even if sometimes it results in unpleasant litterbox disasters. I enjoy watching the kittens become less shy and more outgoing, and spending time with the ones that are already friendly and well-socialized.

Lest you think I am nothing but virtuous, I also spend a great deal of time laying in bed playing stupid mobile games. Right now there's a lot of Angry Birds Match, and various Picross games (Two Eyes is my current favorite, Hungry Cat Picross is more difficult but you get a cat and unlockable customizations). They scratch the same sort of putting things in order itch the other things do, but with less positive impact.

pearwaldorf: (misc - get excited)
Hey there. Thanks for doing this. The fact that people are even willing to consider things I want in stories is enough, so I’m sure I’ll love whatever you create. If you have an idea in mind already, great! But if you need something a little more concrete to work with (as I do), please look below.

Also I have no idea how to prompt for art and I'm really really sorry. I can barely draw stick figures, so if it looks vaguely person-ish, I will be happy.

You probably don’t know me. Here are places you can find me:

Twitter: [twitter.com profile] pearwaldorf
Tumblr: [tumblr.com profile] pearwaldorf
AO3: [archiveofourown.org profile] pearwaldorf
Pinboard: [pinboard.in profile] pearwaldorf

Things I like )

Do not want )
Fandoms


The Dragon Prince )The Arcana (Visual Novel) )Horizon: Zero Dawn )Rogue One, Star Wars OT )
pearwaldorf: a b&w picture of Carrie Fisher in the Hoth outfit from ESB. She has a big grin on her face. (Default)

1. Your main fandom of the year?
Critical Role, probably, with side ventures into Venom, Voltron, and Hannibal.

2. Your favorite film watched this year?
I liked a lot of things for different reasons. Venom and Aquaman are stupid, schlocky brain candy. Black Panther, Get Out, and Widows were fucking brilliant re-imaginings of old genres. Crazy Rich Asians had people who looked like me, and I got to hear my mom say "I recognize this experience from my own life" about it.

3. Your favorite book read this year?
I only read two this year /o\ and I liked them both for different reasons. Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay is a great little collection of essays. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott is a book that makes you feel less alone about being a writer.

4. Your favorite TV show of the year?
It didn't feel like a very TV-heavy year for me. I've been watching Hannibal on the bus, and I do like it a lot. I also watched a ton of Voltron and it's a perfectly fine show that does not deserve its fandom one bit.

5. Your favorite online fandom community of the year?
Twitter and Tumblr pocket friends! They are my sanity check and encouragement.

6. Your best new fandom discovery of the year?
The Arcana visual novel. I found it when I was going through a brief otome games phase and it's the only one that's actually stuck, probably because the writing is great and the art is beautiful. I love all the characters and I find almost all of their romance paths satisfying (Julian took a while to get there, but I'm glad to see he's getting actual character growth).

7. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?
Infinity War, probably. But what else is new?

8. Your TV boyfriend of the year?
Not from TV (or even a boy, but he uses he/him pronouns), but Asra from The Arcana. He has pretty floofy white hair and purple eyes. There's only so much I can resist in the face of that.

9. Your TV girlfriend of the year?
Again, also not TV, but Nakia from Black Panther.

10. Your biggest squee moment of the year?
A revelation about your PC concerning the plague in The Arcana that is revealed only through Asra's path. I may have shrieked a little. The new Critical Role campaign.

11. The most missed of your old fandoms?
Did I have time to miss fandoms this year? I don't feel like I did.

12. The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?
Killing Eve. I still need to see Into the Spiderverse.

13. Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?
Finishing up Voltron. Watching the rest of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. Men in Black: International. GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS. LOOK AT THIS RIDICULOUSNESS. MY BODY IS SO FUCKING READY. Captain Marvel.

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