pearwaldorf | Entries tagged with fanwork roundup

LIST OF FANWORKS

NSFW fics are indicated with an asterisk. All OFMD is Ed/Stede unless indicated.

(take for joy) from my outstretched palms (Ninja Assassin, Mika/Raizo)
the ravening clouds shall not long be victorious (OFMD, gen)
we've not yet lost all our graces (Good Omens/Hannibal, Will and Aziraphale)
siren (OFMD, companion ficlet for Pond's Monstrous May art)
[vid] western wind (OFMD)
fight off the light and stay with me (Good Omens Pacific Rim AU, Aziraphale/Crowley)
in the shape of things to come (too much poison come undone) (OFMD)
[vid] gay bar (OFMD, gen)
when the lights come on I'll be ready for this (Shang-Chi; Katy-centric, pre-Katy/Shaun)
* all the variations you could do with me (OFMD, Ed/Stede/Blackbeard)
until I saw you in my thunderstorm (Oxventure: Blades in the Dark, Alice/Peter)
* take me to the limit, hold me down there (OFMD)
there's a storm you've started now (Oxventure: Blades in the Dark, Alice/Peter)
* our bodies fear that this war won't end (can't live without the ache) (Malevolent, Arthur/John)
both have sharp teeth (Interview With the Vampire, Grace and Lestat)
* don't look in the mirror look into my eyes (Critical Role/Legend of Vox Machina, Percy/Orthax, Percy/OMC)
I took no time with the fall (Glass Onion, Blanc/Phillip)
Tumblr ficliets

TOTAL WORD COUNT

31298 and 5:27 of vids!

by fandom

Ninja Assassin    1767
OFMD    13745
Hannibal    1123
Good Omens    4747
Rivers of London    202
Shang-Chi    266
Ox: BITD    2900
IWTV    1289
Critical Role    1892
Glass Onion    1239
Malevolent    1261

OVERALL THOUGHTS

I took last year off from writing because I had a lot going on (new jorb, getting on ADHD meds, pursuing other creative endeavors, I just didn't feel like it), but it's really good to get back to it. In a lot of ways it's like learning how to do it all over again. Having an approximation of neurotypical function has been interesting, because I can just… stop? And pick up the next day? And not have to try and keep pace with my hyperfocus to finish before I got bored like I used to? It is wild, and I’m still figuring out how it works.

And because I took last year off, there was a lot of going through unfinished stuff and finally getting it out the door (hence all the Good Omens). That was satisfying, but I'm glad to have a mostly clear plate now.

And what is now apparently perpetual copypasta: If, despite everything, you were able to produce work this year, congratulations. And if you couldn't, that's okay too. Next year will hopefully be better.

PERSONAL BEST/FAVORITE

A tossup between when the lights come on I’ll be ready for this and in the shape of things to come (too much poison come undone. Shang-Chi is a movie that is close to me and my experience and it was extremely gratifying to put so much of things I know and value into it. And because I am always contrary, I wanted to write a not-really fix-it for Ed and Stede. It’s prickly and uncomfortable and emotional, but not without hope, and I like that.

But honestly I felt like I leveled up as a writer in general this year. idk if it's the meds, but everything felt really good to write. Of course I still ran into trouble, but it didn't feel horrifically insurmountable or frustratingly despairing in the same way. Here's hoping it continues.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED

Vids never do well on AO3, so I'm not surprised they have low hits and/or kudos. And I worked really hard on them, so go watch them (on AO3, YouTube, whatever) and tell me what you like about them, if anything.

MOST POPULAR

Unsurprisingly, the OFMD porn was top in both hits and kudos. But both have sharp teeth got kudos disproportionate to hits. Apparently people want stories about Grace de Pointe du Lac.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT

Take me to the limit. Is there anything hotter than a guy with rolled-up shirtsleeves? Yeah.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE

I think I did a good job of writing whatever the fuck I wanted this year, and I had a lot of fun doing it. And people seemed to like some of the more random stuff I threw up on Tumblr, so that was an added bonus. It may be recency bias, but I had an absolute blast writing Blanc. It's always delightful to write characters with distinct voices, and his is extremely distinct.

HARDEST

A toss-up between in the shape of things to come and we've not yet lost all our graces. The stuff was all there, but I could not figure out how to make it flow not just coherently, but in a manner satisfying to me. So that was frustrating and made me grumpy, but I figured it out.

BIGGEST SURPRISE/S

For sure, the Oxventure: Blades in the Dark stories. A non-D&D TTRPG run by a bunch of randos for a UK gaming website? And about two NPCs we never see again? There was no way I could have expected that one.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY

Like I say every year, I'm pretty sure all my shit is out in the open. But I will say I took no time with the fall has a surfeit of things I personally find interesting/have been thinking about. For once the whisk(e)y is the least of it.

FAVOURITE LINES/SCENES

He wants to crawl into that feeling and memorize it, that specific sense of comfort, belonging. Of bone-deep certitude even monsters can be—are—loved. (we’ve not yet lost all our graces)

“What did you say to my brother?”

“That I missed his company and wished to see him.” To Grace’s surprise, there is no affectation. “I realize now it was a poor time and place to do so, but sometimes the yearning, the desire to be close to… a friend. It can make even sensible men stupid. And I am not a sensible man.” (both have sharp teeth)

He rolls up his shirtsleeves, cuffing them neatly just under his elbows. It is practiced, easy in a way that makes Edward wonder what else he can do with those dexterous hands. (take me to the limit, hold me down there)

“Now that I’m to get a lecture it’s Phillip?”

“Lecture is such a stuffy word. Call it a gentle reminder of things that should be more prominent in your memory.” Blanc’s kind of a shit too, and god help him, Phillip is into it. (I took no time with the fall)

2023 WRITING AMBITIONS

As always, a look at previous goals:
Finish thicker than water, stronger than wine
I'm still gonna! I've even picked at it a little! Maybe when they finally announce a date for Good Omens S2. Although I'm sure everybody who was interested in it has given up hope of it ever getting finished, which is fair.

Make a working version of the transcription and captioning tool
That totally did not happen and I intend to pick this up again. And now that work has given me more knowledge of AWS, I'm hoping this is something I'm better equipped to tackle.

Learn Davinci Resolve. Like for reals this time
A year later than expected, but yes! As I mentioned in the vid notes for gay bar, the sheer ridiculousness of the vid made it easier to fuck around and experiment. I am trying to carry that mindset into any vids I may make next year.

Things I want to do next year:

Make two vids. I have a lot of ideas kicking around for more OFMD ones, and I would like to make at least one IWTV one.
Make a working prototype of the transcription/captioning tool

I am aware neither of these things are writing related, but oh well. I'll figure it out.

LIST OF FANWORKS

All Good Omens is Aziraphale/Crowley unless noted

you were doomed but just enough (Good Omens, nsfw)
affirmation, appreciation (Good Omens)
like you've nothing left to prove (and nothing to lose) (Good Omens, nsfw)
thicker than water, stronger than wine chapter one (Good Omens While You Were Sleeping AU)
we're coming up, not stopping 'cause we got this love (this light, come join the revolution) (Star Wars, post-TROS; Finn/Poe/Rey)
Discredit and sequel by ItsClydeBitches (Good Omens, group podfic)
balance theory (The Old Guard, pre-Joe/Nicky)
iftar (The Old Guard, gen)
without the wise to lead them (Dragon Age: Inquisition post-game, Merrill, gen)
Tumblr ficlets

TOTAL WORD COUNT

20740

by fandom:
Good Omens: 15284
Star Wars: 1990
The Old Guard: 2353
Critical Role: 479
Emperor's New Groove: 634

OVERALL THOUGHTS

In general? Fuck this year. I had plans. I had a schedule. (This is how I personally brought on COVID, for being excited that I could write again and assuming it would continue.) Not that I had a lot of time to worry about that, because as soon as I thought I got a handle on COVID, I learned I was getting laid off! I am extremely surprised I was able to write at all.

And copypasta from last year, because it seems worth repeating: If, despite everything, you were able to produce work this year, congratulations. And if you couldn't, that's okay too. Next year will hopefully be better.

PERSONAL BEST/FAVORITE

Thicker than water, stronger than wine is the closest I've ever gotten to origfic. And as such, I had to learn how to introduce (basically) original characters. You know what sucks about origfic? You have to make everything up! EVERYTHING. It's exhausting. But that's a thing I understand how to do now, and it has made me stronger as a writer.

Favorite is you were doomed but just enough. It is an extremely self-indulgent story, much more than the porn. (I mean it has porn in it but that's not really the self-indulgent stuff.)

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED

Again, you were doomed but just enough. One thing I don't like about GOmens fandom is how averse it is to ambiguous or sad endings. I tagged it as "kinda sad" because it is, and I feel like a lot of people stayed away because of that. But the people who do like it seem to like it a lot, sno that's something I guess.

MOST POPULAR

Balance theory, by far. I wrote it like a week after the movie came out so the timing was perfect.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT

Balance theory. Yes I find it deeply amusing it's the one where they're not even in a relationship yet. But the inherent eroticism of feeling your not-quite enemy touch you after he's rescued you, because by some tacit agreement, he's yours to kill alone, and you're his.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE

The Emperor's New Groove ficlet. Everything about it was ridiculous and gave me great joy to write.

HARDEST

Thicker than water, stronger than wine. There were times when I deeply regretted taking this project on. But I'm glad I did.

BIGGEST SURPRISE/S

I did not expect to write anything for a 20 year old Disney cartoon. But it happened!

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY

Like I say every year, I'm pretty sure all my shit is out in the open.

FAVOURITE LINES/SCENES

“This is gonna make me sound awful, and I understand if you get angry at me for it, but honestly, his… not being here anymore makes things easier on all of us.” Poe rubs his forehead.

“You’re not wrong though.” She takes a bite of her ration bar. “There would probably be trials and all sorts of headaches.”

He pokes at his plate. “Oh, there’ll be plenty of those—not every senior First Order officer had the foresight to get shot for treason.” He smiles, but there’s very little humor in it. “But the biggest rancor of them all dodged a blaster bolt.” (from we're coming up, etc.)

Still very pleased with this Poe dialogue. I think it sounds like him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” It’s been a long time since Azra’s talked with anybody about anything more personal since, well, Rafe and his holiday plans. As much as it’s been gratifying to be fussed over, he’s forgotten how nerve-wracking it is to be around new people he doesn’t know well.

“It wasn’t wrong of you to ask, if that’s what you’re trying to apologise for.” Crowley’s voice is unexpectedly gentle, and it makes something in Azra’s chest ache. There’s something about him that’s compelling in a different way from Rafe, and it makes Azra want to know more. (from thicker than water, stronger than wine)

2021 WRITING AMBITIONS

Last year's: Prioritize joy, especially when it comes to fandom. I've never been exactly bad at writing whatever the fuck I want, but that is something I should continue to do.

I would like to write something long with at least a modicum of plot. I am bad at both of these things, and it would be nice to prove to myself I can if I wanted to.

I am going to try and make two vids next year and see if I can learn Vegas 15 and maybe another NLE. I also want to get a captioning/transcription guide up for fans who want to make their vids more accessible, as somebody asked about it.

I'm not sure I had a choice about the first, tbh. Given how terrible this year has been I don't think I had the bandwidth to do anything in fandoms/spaces that didn't bring me joy.

I kinda did the second? Chapter 1 of Thicker than water is already the longest thing I've ever written. (Not intentionally, but it needed so much setup! *sob*) It has a plot, but ~~most~~ all of it is stolen from something else so I'm not sure it counts.

Genuine attempts were made to learn Vegas and Davinci Resolve! I even did an extremely stupid dub of an instrumental version of Sandstorm over the Dune trailer in Vegas! But I still don't actually know how to assemble a vid in either program.

With the (frankly bullshit) retirement of the YouTube subtitling and caption tool, I've been investigating other alternatives for transcribing and captioning videos. I think I might have found something promising, but it involves me learning how shit in AWS works and how to modify triggers in a specific service, so it's not going to be even available to test until I figure that out. (If you know anything about modifying AWS Lambda triggers, PLZ HIT ME UP.) I'm excited though, because if this works, it could be a low-cost semi-automated solution for a legit problem.

Things I hope to achieve in 2021:

Finish thicker than water, stronger than wine. I know what needs to be written, I just need to write it
Make a working version of the transcription and captioning tool
Learn Davinci Resolve. Like for reals this time

I feel like after these past couple years, hoping for more is... fraught. These things are specific and doable.

LIST OF FANWORKS

NSFW is denoted with an asterisk. All Good Omens is Aziraphale/Crowley unless noted.

the last witness before the wave hits (Good Omens, gen)
can you feel my heart beat fast (I want it to last, need you by my side) (Good Omens)
*well you laughed baby it's okay (it's buzzcut season anyway) (Good Omens)
take care to leave a trace (KOTOR 2; Jedi Exile/everybody, Jedi Exile/Visas Marr)
of some other man's belief (Good Omens, gen)
I've got this feeling, so appealing, for us to get together and sing (Good Omens, gen)
[archive-locked work] (RPF)
I knew that sullen hall (Good Omens/Dragon Age: Inquisition crossover)
*we gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves (The Last Jedi; Finn/Poe/Rey/Rose)
healing spirit (Good Omens)
[archive-locked work] (RPF)
better than anything else that I've tried (Good Omens)
gotta blame it on the goose (Good Omens/Untitled Goose Game crossover)
*don't know you super well but you might be the same as me (Good Omens)
sleeping at last (Good Omens)
*don't need a crown to know that I'm a queen (Good Omens)
*just let me try (and I will be good to you) - an Anthonavery RPF (Slow Show)
*I can make you boil up baby, let it simmer (Slow Show)
an instrument of thy vision (Rise of Skywalker; Finn)
Tumblr ficlets

I also did two challenges this year: Ineffable Fictober and Drabbletober.

TOTAL WORD COUNT

62423!!!

By fandom:
Good Omens: 36697
Star Wars: 7421
RPF: 5808
KOTOR 2: 2505
Dragon Age: Inquisition: 1105
Everything else (Critical Role, MCU, Hannibal, Mass Effect): 8887

OVERALL THOUGHTS

Oh god it was so good to get my words back, and not only that, surpass my word count for my previous best year. The past two years have been super fucking bad for writing, and to be able to write with ease and joy againi feels like a marvelous gift, and I am grateful.

And copypasta from last year, because it seems worth repeating: If, despite everything, you were able to produce work this year, congratulations. And if you couldn't, that's okay too. Next year will hopefully be better.

PERSONAL BEST/FAVORITE

I really do feel like I leveled up as a writer this year. The words were good and they came easily. I branched out a lot this year: RPF, really strange metafic, things that should be fic but the thing it's fic of doesn't actually exist. I had a lot of fun writing all of it.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED (IMO)

I feel like everything was appreciated the right amount. I would have loved more people to have seen I knew that sullen hall, but niche crossovers are hard to attract attention.

MOST POPULAR

well you laughed baby it's okay, aka the hair-pulling fic. People really seemed to like it an almost disproportionate amount to its length and quality. Maybe it was exactly what fandom wanted at the time. Also somebody tried to plagiarize it so I guess that must mean they liked it a lot. :P

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT

Don't need a crown to know that I'm a queen. I like stories where characters know they're a snack and aren't afraid to show it off.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE

Gotta blame it on the goose, for sure. It's so silly.

STORY THAT SHIFTED MY OWN PERCEPTION OF A CHARACTER

I knew that sullen hall. I never spent a whole lot of time with Blackwall, so it was interesting to get into his head for a bit. And in the course of writing the story, I had to think about things that he and Aziraphale would have in common, and it was useful character work for both of them.

HARDEST

Of some other man's belief was a strange, recalcitrant story where I never really knew where I was going with it. All I know is it wanted to be written very very badly.

BIGGEST SURPRISE/S

The fake RPF I did for the Slow Show universe. The everything I wrote in the Slow Show universe. But it was great fun, and the Warlock Party House is a wonderful group of people.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

I wanted to get out a vid this year, but I don't think that's going to happen.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY

Like I say every year, all my shit is out in the open.

FAVOURITE LINES/SCENES

Occasionally, as she is drifting off, she feels something shift in her awareness of him, like the brush of a hand on a curtain.(from we gladiate but I guess we're really fighting ourselves)

“Jesus fucking christ, angel. You can’t just say things like that.”

“Leave that poor boy out of this. Now tell me, do you like the red or the black better?” (from Ineffable Fictober prompt "anything you like")

He reached up to grab the other man’s hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing. Come for me, he tried to communicate with his touch. Flood me with your release. (from just let me try. I was writing it intentionally badly but sometimes I'm not sure people got that 😆)

LINES/SCENES YOU’D CHANGE

I try not to think about it because then I'll want to change them and then I'll never stop fiddling.

TOP FIVE SCENES YOU WISH WOULD BE ILLUSTRATED

The alley scene in can you feel my heart beat fast
Nanny, Warlock, and Aziraphale at the concert in I've got this feeling
Crowley tending Aziraphale's hands in healing spirit
This chapter (wings) from Ineffable Fictober
Crowley chasing after the goose

2020 WRITING AMBITIONS

As always, a look at last year's:

(Creative) Survival is still a laudable ambition. I will endeavor to produce as much as I can creatively, and hopefully exceed this year's incredibly pathetic word count. I haven't made a vid in a while, and I have a new NLE (VEGAS Pro 15) to take for a spin. Art is also part of resistance, and integrating it more into my life will be good.

I think I did pretty well with the first two. Didn't make a vid, but I'm starting on one now. Good Omens was more important to me this year than I realized. Coming off Endgame, I needed something to feel excited about, and Good Omens is a very enthusiastic fandom. It also got me through the lead-up and release of Rise of Skywalker.

For a while I was deeply suspicious a shoe was going to drop re: how much fun I was having in GO fandom because it felt too easy. People weren't wanking the day away (or I could avoid those that were) and they were so happy to love on the characters. And then I realized no, that's actually how it should feel to be in a fandom community.

So I guess that's one of the things I'm going to do next year: prioritize joy, especially when it comes to fandom. I've never been exactly bad at writing whatever the fuck I want, but that is something I should continue to do.

I would like to write something long with at least a modicum of plot. I am bad at both of these things, and it would be nice to prove to myself I can if I wanted to.

I am going to try and make two vids next year and see if I can learn Vegas 15 and maybe another NLE. I also want to get a captioning/transcription guide up for fans who want to make their vids more accessible, as somebody asked about it.

I wasn't going to do one of these this year but goddamn it, I fought hard for every word, and that should be acknowledged.

LIST OF FANWORKS

Posted under a sockpuppet [redacted]
you know I love it, so please don't stop it (MCU; Peter/MJ/Shuri)
Dog person (MCU; Pepper and Peter)
(I get a feeling that) I should have been home yesterday (Critical Role; Mollymauk)
good bones (Critical Role; Nila)
Tumblr ficlets

TOTAL WORD COUNT

9038

This does not reflect the metric fuckton of editing and timesetting I did for CRTranscripts, or the work I've been putting in project managing the FPOTF/NOOO stuff, both of which ate up a lot of time this year. Or the non-fandom volunteering, including my weekly gig at the cat shelter.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

I'm not pleased that my word count is even lower than it was last year, but I had much less external impetus to write (I didn't complete any challenges/exchanges).

And copypasta from last year, because it seems worth repeating: If, despite everything, you were able to produce work this year, congratulations. And if you couldn't, that's okay too. Next year will hopefully be better.

PERSONAL BEST/FAVORITE

I was really pleased with Good Bones. I haven't written first person in a fucking eon, but nothing else felt right.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED (IMO)

Nothing this year! I feel like everything was appreciated the exact right amount.

MOST POPULAR

By enthusiasm, you know I love it; by comments, Dog person.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT

There’s a smile on MJ’s face as she turns towards Shuri, kissing her slow and leisurely, like she intends to make the most of this experience. Shuri’s eyes widen for a moment before she relaxes into it, and it’s the first time Peter’s seen her surprised by anything. But MJ’s a force of nature, enough to bowl over even a princess. He feels a surge of pride and fondness in that fact, even if he is in no way responsible for any of it.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE

You know I love it, for sure.

FAVORITE LINES/SCENES

“How primitive.” Shuri looks up from whatever she’s doing on her Kimoyo console. “In Wakanda, if somebody likes someone else, they tell them how many rhinos they would offer for the privilege of their companionship.”

“Really?” Peter can never tell when Shuri’s joking sometimes, and is too afraid to ask.

“No, white boy, we agonize about it in private group chats and avoid the subject completely in front of each other just like you do.” Shuri becomes thoughtful for a moment. “I think the rhino thing may have been just Okoye and W’Kabi. He’s weird like that.”

--

Yes, this was the Mighty Nein. There were four of them. I don’t know why either.

STORY THAT SHIFTED MY OWN PERCEPTION OF A CHARACTER

Dog person. Pepper and I don't really spend a lot of time together, so I was honestly surprised she's much less irritated at Tony than I expected her to be? I'm sure there are moments where she's quite ready to kill him, but it's modulated by a lot of affection.

2019 WRITING AMBITIONS

A look back at last year's:

After the election, and looking ahead to the next year or four, I have been thinking about what I can do as a creative person, outside of direct activist/volunteer work, to support people's spirits during what will undoubtedly be some grim times. I think about how after the election, being able to dive into a fic for a little while was such comfort. I hope to write stories about connection, friendship, and resistance with as much love and care as possible.

I do not know if I succeeded, but I hope my fics brought a little bit of solace to those who needed it. My goal next year remains the same. I don't know what horrors another year of this administration holds, but I think we will be in great need of escape and comfort from it, if only for a little bit.

(Creative) Survival is still a laudable ambition. I will endeavor to produce as much as I can creatively, and hopefully exceed this year's incredibly pathetic word count. I haven't made a vid in a while, and I have a new NLE (VEGAS Pro 15) to take for a spin. Art is also part of resistance, and integrating it more into my life will be good.

LIST OF FANWORKS:

you only live a day (but it's brilliant anyway) (Rogue One, Bodhi/Galen)
nothing left to do when you've got to go on waiting (for the miracle to come) (Critical Role; Cassandra, Kaylie, Gilmore)
A cataloging of how the new population of ravens interacts with particular residents and/or visitors of Whitestone (Critical Role)
fingertips (The Last Jedi, Poe/Leia)
(let me come home) home is whenever I'm with you (Horizon: Zero Dawn, Aloy/Vanasha)
We can talk it so good (how you wish it would be all the time) (TFA, Ben Solo)
Tumblr ficlets

TOTAL WORD COUNT FOR THE YEAR:

11910

I also did transcription and a shitton (an actual quantifiable term) of editing for CRTranscripts this year, which is not the same as producing original work, but is also a fandom contribution. This is in addition to the tag wrangling.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Fuck this year, in general and specific. Between the Trump administration and my grandma's death, this was not going to be a good year for writing, but I didn't realize how bad it would be. This is less than 20% of my previous yearly output. The fact that I was able to write at all, however, is something I do not take lightly.

If, despite everything, you were able to produce work this year, congratulations. And if you couldn't, that's okay too. Next year will hopefully be better.

PERSONAL BEST/FAVORITE:

I'm really pleased with you only live a day. It's rare for me to like a thing I write right off the bat, but I liked this a lot. I am pleased with the structure, and weaving in the flash-forwards was great, mostly because people were like "I don't understand how this relates--OHHHH MY GOD YOU MONSTER". That was fun.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED (IMO):

Fingertips. I mean, people like it, but I want people to like it more.

MOST POPULAR:

Either a cataloging etc or nothing left to do, by kudos and Tumblr notes.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT:

Nothing stands out, not like it did last year.

STORY THAT SHIFTED MY OWN PERCEPTIONS OF A CHARACTER:

If I wanted an easy out I'd say this Hot Fuzz ficlet, because I've never written Danny before. But his voice was so easy to figure out. Maybe Poe in fingertips? He's been living in my head for a couple years now, but I hadn't really, truly considered his relationship with Leia (in any sense really) until this story. And now that I've written it, I have more insight into both of them.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE:

Also fingertips. I don't think I've really quite plumbed Poe's complete and utter adoration and devotion to Leia, but this was a start.

HARDEST:

All of them. Fuck this year.

BIGGEST SURPRISE/S:

That I managed to get out more than two fics.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT:

Too many IRL disappointments to even think about this one.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY:

Like I say every year, all my shit is out in the open.

FAVOURITE LINES/SCENES:

“I want to know,” he says, so Bodhi tells him about the narrow streets of NiJedha, bustling and full of life. He relates the best he can the smell of ful in the morning and dal at night, bread leavened and flat to accompany them. He describes pilgrim season before the Imperial presence on the moon, a sea of white robes streaked with travel dust. (from you only live a day)

Cool fingers slide against his chin, force his head up to look at her. There’s that angry spark in her eyes, the one he’s seen in old holoreels of the Imperial Senate and thought was incredibly attractive, until he was the focus of that attention. Now, under that gaze, he revises his opinion to attractive as well as incredibly frightening. (from fingertips)

LINES/SCENES YOU’D CHANGE:

I try not to think about it because then I'll want to change them and then I'll never stop fiddling.

TOP FIVE SCENES YOU WISH WOULD BE ILLUSTRATED:

Bodhi and Galen in bed from you only live a day
Taako and Lup dropping water balloons in this ficlet
Danny pinned under Nick in this ficlet

OK I guess I didn't write enough to round out five

2018 WRITING AMBITIONS:

As always, a look back at last year's:
After the election, and looking ahead to the next year or four, I have been thinking about what I can do as a creative person, outside of direct activist/volunteer work, to support people's spirits during what will undoubtedly be some grim times. I think about how after the election, being able to dive into a fic for a little while was such comfort. I hope to write stories about connection, friendship, and resistance with as much love and care as possible.

I do not know if I succeeded, but I hope my fics brought a little bit of solace to those who needed it. My goal next year remains the same. I don't know what horrors another year of this administration holds, but I think we will be in great need of escape and comfort from it, if only for a little bit.

LIST OF FANWORKS:

break from these chains and make my kingdom new (TFA; Finn/Rey, nsfw)
(and if you think it's fine, will you) lay your head next to mine (TFA; Finn/Rey)
my turn in a minute (gonna put my message in it) (TFA; Finn/Rey, Finn/Poe/Rey)
the universe made manifest (TFA; Rey & Luke)
how galaxies collide (TFA; Finn/Rey)
at least we stole the show (Daredevil; Foggy/Karen/Matt, nsfw)
we're headed straight for the keep (DAI; Sera/Dagna)
Rear View [vid] (TFA; Finn/Rey)
hold the nail for the hammer stroke (Rogue One; Jyn Erso/Mon Mothma)
Away. To. [vid] (TFA; ensemble)
a knife on the things that held us together (TFA; Han/Leia, Luke)
(good is) not a thing you are (Critical Role; Percy & Pike)
our own hands against our hearts (Critical Role; Percy/Vex, community theater AU)
Kintsukuroi (Critical Role; Kynan, Jarret, and Pike)
can't we get a little grace (Critical Role; Percy & Cassandra)
let this moment be the first chapter (Star Wars; Han/Leia)
enough language in your mouth (TFA; Finn/Poe, nsfw)
various Tumblr ficlets
various fanmixes, graphics, etc

TOTAL WORD COUNT FOR THE YEAR:

56409 words and 6:18 minutes of vids. Considering last year it was ~35K and no vids, I'm pleased.

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

Like last year, I was curious about the breakdown of things written.

By fandom:
The Force Awakens: 22697
Star Wars (not TFA or RO): 2155
Rogue One: 3924
Total Star Wars: 28776
Critical Role: 15300
Captain America/Daredevil/MCU: 6692
DAI: 4962
Other (Yuri On Ice, Dishonored, Marvel comics): 1416

By genre:
Het (outside the context of an OT3): 16806 (29.8%)
Femslash: 5140 (9.1%)
Female POV: 23797 (42.2%)
POC POV: 13476 (23.9%)
WOC POV: 1342 (2.4%)

I wrote a lot more het this year than last, like tenfold. I also wrote a great deal more femslash (almost twice as much!), although that's still not very much. I also wrote twice as much from a female POV, and I'm also pleased by that. I rejiggered calculations for how I track POC POV from last year to get rid of the "real-world" context qualifier (it didn't seem to make sense when Finn gets as much shit as Sam Wilson does for being black, even if it's a galaxy far far away), so it's not apples to apples. But eyeballing it (I'm not going to recalculate it), it doesn't seem to have changed much.

By volume, writing from the perspective of WOC still remains abysmal. I will need to work on that.

PERSONAL BEST:

The story that challenged me most in getting me out of my comfort zone was a knife on the things that held us together. I don't really do sad/tragic, and after I finished it I was emotionally wiped writing-wise for like two weeks.

I'm also pleased with we're headed straight for the keep, because Sera's voice is super difficult to nail down. I'd like to think that as little as it's featured (for reasons), it sounds true to the game.

PERSONAL FAVORITE:

HOW DO I DECIDE BETWEEN ALL MY BABIES? The universe made manifest contains a lot of my feelings about the different versions of the Jedi code and how much difference one word makes. Also it has some character moments I like. I like the structure of how galaxies collide. I don't do much consciously with structure usually, so it was fun to do.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED (IMO):

Away. To., for sure. Yes I know it's pretentious, but that's why I love it. Also this Leia backstory ficlet.

MOST POPULAR:

According to kudos my turn in a minute (gonna put my message in it). This Kynan and Cassandra ficlet(?) also got way more attention than I thought it would?

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT:

There are two. The first being break from these chains and make my kingdom new, and at least we stole the show.

STORY THAT SHIFTED MY OWN PERCEPTIONS OF A CHARACTER:

I can't say that I've ever thought much about Dagna before writing we're headed straight for the keep, so it was nice to be able to get into her head. I'm also glad to see the Jyn in hold the nail for the hammer stroke doesn't seem wildly ooc from the one in the movie.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE:

The one with Poe in sweatpants, for sure. It's very silly and involves people being discombobulated because of their crushes. In the same vein, my turn in a minute (gonna put my message in it).

HARDEST:

Enough language in your mouth was a terrible, recalcitrant story that I despaired over, because I didn't know what it wanted to be and it didn't either.

BIGGEST SURPRISE/S:

How much I love everybody in Critical Role. The sheer gayness (which you can hear all about and still not be prepared for) of Yuri on Ice, how much I adore Yuri and Victor, and how much I needed this show without realizing it.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT:

Like it is every year, not writing more. Not finishing the things I wanted to get off my plate.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY:

As I said last year, all my shit is out in the open.

FAVOURITE LINES/SCENES:

“Do you trust me? In matters of life, death, and appropriate neckwear decisions?” Poe asks. Finn nods, although Rey thinks it might be in spite of himself. She sees Poe smile in the mirror’s reflection. “Good. Now watch my hands, here’s the tricky part.”

“It’s all tricky, Poe.” Finn sounds a little despairing, and Poe laughs softly before kissing him behind the ear.

“I got you buddy, we’ll figure it out.” (from this ficlet)

“We all have the Force.” Chirrut says, his conviction as strong as a fact of nature. “Binding, surrounding, the fucking plastoid tape of the universe.” His voice gets gruff, fondly mocking, and Baze shoots him a glare.

“Is he frowning at me?” Jyn murmurs an affirmative, and Chirrut smiles. (from this ficlet)

LINES/SCENES YOU’D CHANGE:

I try not to think about it because then I'll want to change them and then I'll never stop fiddling.

TOP FIVE SCENES YOU WISH WOULD BE ILLUSTRATED:

Chirrut and Baze in the snow from this ficlet
Kynan over the table in Kintsukuroi
Percy and Pike in this (kinda nsfw) ficlet
Sira and Finn in this ficlet
Jess leaning against Black One in this ficlet

2016 WRITING AMBITIONS:

A look back at last year's goals:

I think I would like to write a long story, probably the Adoribull Eagle AU
Yeah that totally did not happen. I don't think I'm one of those writers who has enough stamina or patience to write anything super long, although I may surprise myself.

Also I think I would like to write something unrepentantly trashy. Something totally dead dove do not eat that makes people who aren't into it go D: a lot.
That also did not happen. Maybe next year!

After the election, and looking ahead to the next year or four, I have been thinking about what I can do as a creative person, outside of direct activist/volunteer work, to support people's spirits during what will undoubtedly be some grim times. I think about how after the election, being able to dive into a fic for a little while was such comfort. I hope to write stories about connection, friendship, and resistance with as much love and care as possible.

LIST OF FANWORKS:

already the world entire (Captain America, Steve/Sam)
I guess we're here, once again (DAI, Dorian/Felix)
topside (DAI, Dagna/Lace Harding)
Unexpected (DAI, Cullen/Dorian)
if you are alive, give more now (DAI, Cassandra/Josephine)
may every nail be shown (Captain America, Steve/Bucky)
as the love that's gonna shine (MCU, Steve/Sam)
and if it's just tonight it's all in love (DAI, Dorian/Iron Bull)
*mumble* (it's locked on AO3, so I'm not linking to it)
we woke the snow (DAI, Cullen/Dorian)
we wore the jacket for the longest time (TFA, Finn/Poe/Rey)
taste the stardust in my mouth (TFA, Poe/Rey, Finn/Poe/Rey)
there is so much more inside me now (TFA, Rey & Luke)
various Tumblr ficlets
assorted graphics/very short vids

TOTAL WORD COUNT FOR THE YEAR:

35386, which I think is perfectly respectable, considering last year it was ~15K?

If you're curious, this is how it broke down by fandom (I spent half an hour figuring this out so fuck yes I'm going to share):
Dragon Age: Inquisition - 14407
MCU/Captain America - 8627
The Force Awakens - 7753
Other (Hamilton, Dishonored, Steven Universe, DS9, Daredevil, *mumble*) - 2432

OVERALL THOUGHTS:
I overshot my expected word count this year, so I'm pleased.

I was curious about a few things, so I kept notes out of my own curiosity about what sorts of perspectives I wrote from and what I wrote. Here's what I kept track of:
Het (outside of the context of an OT3) - 900 (2.9%)
Femslash - 1802 (5.8%)
Female POV - 8122 (22.9%)
POC (in a "real-world" context, so Sam Wilson counts, but Dorian Pavus would not) - 3246 (10.4%)

Obviously there's mathematical hinkiness with saying only certain types of characters/works count, but I don't remember why exactly I thought that only "real-world" contexts count, especially considering the sorts of, ah, discussions we seem to be having in lots of fandoms regardless of genre about characters of color, but it seemed an important distinction at the time. (I suspect that if I included characters like Dorian and Poe as part of the criteria, that last percentage would be even higher.)

Looking at the list of fanworks, it's clear to me that the works with female POVs tend to be the shorter ones: mostly ficlets that usually don't make it to AO3. Maybe that's something I should try and work on next year. I am genuinely surprised by how little het I write. Maybe I should write more. :P

PERSONAL BEST:
In October I put my name in for Wham! Splat! Porn!, which is an Adoribull 24 hour porn challenge. I'm quite terrible at writing under pressure, so I'm really pleased that if it's just tonight it's all in love came together as well as it did.

I'm also really proud of we wore the jacket for the longest time. It's the longest story I've ever written. I know that's sad to say, but it's true.

PERSONAL FAVORITE:
we wore the jacket for the longest time. This was such a joy to write, even if it is a bit of a melancholy story. I just love them so much.

MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED (IMO):
Topside and if you are alive, give more now. Everybody needs to read more femslash.

MOST POPULAR:
we wore the jacket for the longest time, oh my god. I am so flabbergasted and gratified people seem to like it a lot. It's going to fuck up my expectations of good hit/kudos ratios forever.

STORY WITH THE SEXIEST MOMENT:
I know I said it last year too, but vulnerability is sexy. Steve and Sam talking about his wings in already the world entire, and making use of them.

STORY THAT SHIFTED MY OWN PERCEPTIONS OF A CHARACTER:
Poe and I spent a lot of time getting to know him in we wore the jacket for the longest time.

MOST FUN STORY TO WRITE:
as the love that's gonna shine. Working toward the reveal was delightful.

HARDEST:
as the love that's gonna shine. I had a very difficult time setting up the Chekov's gun properly, for some reason. I rarely have to rework a story extensively, but this one got a lot of stuff ripped out and rewritten. I think part of the reason it was so difficult to write was I wanted the payoff without building the framework properly.

BIGGEST SURPRISE/S:
REY. FINN. POE GODDAMN DAMERON. I expected to love them, I did not expect to love them as deeply, intensely, and furiously as I do.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT:
I don't really want to characterize it as a disappointment, because I'm in it for the fun? But I do have things I wanted to do but didn't. I finished less stuff than I expected (but I always do). I didn't finish a bunch of WIPs that have been hanging around longer than I wanted. I was going to work on the Adoribull Eagle AU but that totally didn't happen either.

MOST UNINTENTIONALLY TELLING STORY:
I think I'm pretty transparent about the things I like. Pick one, pick them all.

FAVOURITE LINES/SCENES:

“I don’t want you to think I’m using you… that way. Like a thing to get off on. Not that”--here he blushed, pink in all the places Sam could see--”I mean, it’s hot, but it’s also you, and the way they’re a part of you, and--” Sam had stretched out his wings towards him then, letting Steve run his hands over and through them until he thought his mind would overload from sensation.

“When we set off to face Corypheus, I prayed to the Maker, ‘If you are kind, please let me return, and I will make the most of the life You see fit to give me.’” She looks at Josephine, eyes glimmering in the dark. “I have been cowardly, quietly pining, because it never seemed like the right time to approach you. There was always something more important. But now we have accomplished what we set out to do, and I have no more excuses left.”

I think I'm kind of not good at dialogue, but I liked these bits.

LINES/SCENES YOU’D CHANGE:
I don't let anything out the door I'm not OK with. Which is not to say there's things I couldn't have phrased better. But I could tweak forever if I was allowed, so I don't let myself.

TOP FIVE SCENES YOU WISH WOULD BE ILLUSTRATED:
the end of as the love that's gonna shine
Emily having tea with the Outsider (from this ficlet)
Matt/Karen/Foggy in this ficlet
Steve/Sam in this (nsfw) ficlet
Burr in this ficlet

2016 WRITING AMBITIONS:

Firstly, a look at the things I wanted to accomplish in 2015:
Finish up the MCU stuff that's been hanging around. With phase three looking like a giant pile of shit and/or blah, I think it's time we took a break from each other until Cap 3.
AHAHAHAHAHA WHAT IS FINISHING THINGS YOU START. Also I was correct about the rest of phase 2 making us take a break from each other.

Finish up the Mass Effect fic that's been hanging around since 2012 oh my god
Also did not happen. Maybe next year.

Do more kinkmeme prompts. I want to get better at writing porn and this is about as low-stakes as it gets.
I wrote more porn than the previous year, and I did finally fill a kinkmeme prompt, but in the most verbose not-porny way possible, so half-credit? idk.

I don't know if I have any specfic goals for next year that I'm really hell-bent on achieving.

I think I would like to write a long story, probably the Adoribull Eagle AU, but at this point everything is so zomg TFA!!! that may be for later in the year when I can pull back a little from new fandom limerence.

Also I think I would like to write something unrepentantly trashy. Something totally dead dove do not eat that makes people who aren't into it go D: a lot.