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Feb. 29th, 2016 08:23 pmI am feeling a little out of sorts, which I suppose is to be expected after a vacation. After four and a half days of hanging out with dear friends I don't get to see often enough and drinking excellent beer and walking around strange cities (everything good in Chicago is half a mile away from an L or a bus stop) with Oscar Isaac singing in my ears, it's a bit of a letdown to come back to a giant pile of work because the entire department was away.
I'm also feeling weird and anxious about writing because I didn't get anywhere near enough of what I wanted to get done. My Wintersend Exchange fic is still not done. I'm not worried about finishing it, but rather its general quality. I don't want to be that author who serves up a mediocre fic and the recipient has to grit their teeth and say something nice about it. You know how you read a fic and just know the writer's heart wasn't in the thing? I don't want that for my recipient. It's not a pairing I've ever written for (note to self: next year, specify your pairings gdi), and the voices don't feel right to me at all. I have eight days before the default deadline. I hope it goes all right.
I also didn't write anywhere near as much femslash as I was hoping, and I may be having difficulty coming to grips with the fact that I can't just push my brain into writing what I think I should be writing. Femslash is great! There should be so much more of it in the world! I have certainly written some in my time, but nowhere near the amount that I feel like I should have written, in comparison to the dudeslash or het. Obviously I feel like I should be pushing myself to write more of it, but also I want to just be like "Shut up brain, writing is hard enough without feeling you have to meet some sort of arbitrary target in your head."
Mostly I'm frustrated because January was such a good month writing-wise for me. I wrote something nearly every day, even if it was small, and it was really nice. Everything felt easy, and it was good. So of course February felt like pulling teeth. I hope March will be better.
I'm also feeling weird and anxious about writing because I didn't get anywhere near enough of what I wanted to get done. My Wintersend Exchange fic is still not done. I'm not worried about finishing it, but rather its general quality. I don't want to be that author who serves up a mediocre fic and the recipient has to grit their teeth and say something nice about it. You know how you read a fic and just know the writer's heart wasn't in the thing? I don't want that for my recipient. It's not a pairing I've ever written for (note to self: next year, specify your pairings gdi), and the voices don't feel right to me at all. I have eight days before the default deadline. I hope it goes all right.
I also didn't write anywhere near as much femslash as I was hoping, and I may be having difficulty coming to grips with the fact that I can't just push my brain into writing what I think I should be writing. Femslash is great! There should be so much more of it in the world! I have certainly written some in my time, but nowhere near the amount that I feel like I should have written, in comparison to the dudeslash or het. Obviously I feel like I should be pushing myself to write more of it, but also I want to just be like "Shut up brain, writing is hard enough without feeling you have to meet some sort of arbitrary target in your head."
Mostly I'm frustrated because January was such a good month writing-wise for me. I wrote something nearly every day, even if it was small, and it was really nice. Everything felt easy, and it was good. So of course February felt like pulling teeth. I hope March will be better.
