(no subject)

I would like to go to this, but 1. I have no car to transport myself back, and I am sure as fuck not walking 80 gazillion blocks to where I live and 2. I have no one to go with, unless timefortea would like to accompany me and give me somebody to cling to until I imbibe enough alcohol (like it won't be there somewhere. I mean, really.) to dance like the uncaring dork I am on the inside.

(no subject)

PSA, kiddies. Listen up.

If you've ever gone to the natural foods store and thought, "Hey. Robert's American Gourmet makes Pirate's Booty and Smart Puffs, which are totally yummy and delicious. They make Fruity Booty too. That would probably be a light and excellent snack."

Please disabuse yourself of this notion immediately. Fruity Booty tastes like somebody took Pixi-Stix flavoring and dusted it over the puffed rice and corn they use for Pirate's Booty. And it's disgusting. Not to mention absolutely tasteless where there's no flavoring.

On the back of the bag it says "Fruity Booty puts you in the mindset to be healthier and change your life." Well, I can say it's pretty good impetus, because if this is what unhealthy people have to eat for snack foods, I'll get out there and row the length of the goddamn Willamette so I'll never have to eat this again.

(no subject)

Another reason Scandanavians have lower rates of STDs and teen pregnancies than the U.S.

During the summer RFSU condom vans will be patrolling youth spots bearing the emblem: "Need a condom? Call this number." One phone call will summon the driver for an emergency delivery.