life is short

I was at Powell's Books today, and they had a copy of The Sandman Book of Dreams, which is a motley collection of stories about the world of Sandman. I was pleasantly surprised to find this in it.

Endless Sestina, by Lawrence Schimel

The sunlight helps to hold delirium
at bay. Seated, warm, I desire
nothing more than my dreams
can provide: escape from death,
from sliding into despair
contemplating my inevitable destiny

I do not like to call it destiny
for I merely took delight
in the flesh—mine, theirs. While I might now despair
my end, I do not—cannot—regret my desire;
who knew it would lead so nimbly to death?
Warmed by the sun, I sit by the window and dream:

before on me an endless field stands Morpheus,
himself, and I wonder if I am facing my destiny,
a vision of how I will look just before Death
comes to claim me. I must be delirious,
I think, for as gaunt and drained as he looks, I still desire
him. At least a frustrated libido is an easier despair

to handle than one's own death. These days, despair
is such a constant companion, even my dreams
are full of her. The angst of wanting—of needing to be desired—
is inevitable; every boy's unavoidable destiny.
I beg him, "I can show you such delight. . . ."
But Morpheus has other things on his mind than le petit mort.

He is a banshee, fortelling my death
with a keening wail of utter despair.
I shiver at the sound, cold, and know that delirium
and night sweats wrack my body, invading even my daydreams.
I know what I cannot avoid; therefore, call it destiny.
Who am I trying to fool with this desire

for time, for the chance to be desired
again, if only once more before I die?
Before I die! How cruel this untimely fate!
I am so far sunk into despair
I can't even get laid in my own dreams!
But I know this abstinence is only the delirium

invading my dreams. Morpheus, help me fight my destiny.
Let me be desired! I won't give way to despair!
Rage, rage, against the dying of delight!