count my hopes

Apr. 22nd, 2025 08:07 pm
oliviacirce: (open road//oxoniensis)
[personal profile] oliviacirce
This is for Earth Day, but it also now makes me think about Maybe Happy Ending, which we saw in New York last week and absolutely loved. There are some parallels, although this is not (obviously) a poem about fireflies.

I Don't Know What Will Kill Us First: The Race War or What We've Done to the Earth )
musesfool: (shakespeare got to get paid son)
[personal profile] musesfool
Today's poem:

I Have News for You

There are people who do not see a broken playground swing
as a symbol of ruined childhood

and there are people who don't interpret the behavior
of a fly in a motel room as a mocking representation of their thought process.

There are people who don't walk past an empty swimming pool
and think about past pleasures unrecoverable

and then stand there blocking the sidewalk for other pedestrians.
I have read about a town somewhere in California where human beings

do not send their sinuous feeder roots
deep into the potting soil of others' emotional lives

as if they were greedy six-year-olds
sucking the last half-inch of milkshake up through a noisy straw;

and other persons in the Midwest who can kiss without
debating the imperialist baggage of heterosexuality.

Do you see that creamy, lemon-yellow moon?
There are some people, unlike me and you,

who do not yearn after fame or love or quantities of money as
         unattainable as that moon;
thus, they do not later
         have to waste more time
defaming the object of their former ardor.

Or consequently run and crucify themselves
in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha.

I have news for you—
there are people who get up in the morning and cross a room

and open a window to let the sweet breeze in
and let it touch them all over their faces and bodies.

--Tony Hoagland

*

this picnic is no picnic

Apr. 21st, 2025 06:08 pm
musesfool: Princess Leia (so what level up)
[personal profile] musesfool
Monday miscellany:

- So what are the odds we get an antipope this time in addition to a pope?

- Sepinwall gave season 2 of Andor a good review (minor spoilers, I guess) - the first 3 episodes drop tomorrow and it sounds like they are doing 3 episodes a week for 4 weeks, as each one comprises a mini-arc. Trying not to get spoiled on the internet is sure to be a nightmare.

- I haven't done the AO3 stats meme regularly since 2018 because not much changes in my top 10. In 2021, however, I made note of some up-and-comers in the 11-20 slots, and it turns out that as of 4/20/25, Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (i.e., the one where Dick convinces Jason to stop killing through the power of hugs) has crept into the top 10 by hits - it's number 9! (It looks like Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough) (the Steve/Bucky remix AU where Steve finds Bucky working as a barista) is the one that fell out of the top 10.)

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc also made inroads into the top 10 by kudos, landing at number 5! Additionally, 2 Star Wars stories also found their way into the top 10 by kudos: There's Still Time to Change the Road You're On (in which Anakin time travels to the post-RotJ era and meets his kids) at 6, and deep as a secret nobody knows (AU where Leia tells Vader she's Padme's daughter and it changes everything) at number 8!

The 3 Avengers stories that dropped are again, Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough), plus Even a Miracle Needs a Hand (Clint/Darcy fake Christmas boyfriend), and with the lights out, it's less dangerous (Steve/Bucky, then and now).

According to these posts, I did not previously do the full list by comments, but I will note the appearance of deep as a secret nobody knows at number 3 on the comments list, and another Vader-and-Leia AU, Just a Little Bit of History Repeating, at number 10, with the VMars/Avengers crossover we travel without seatbelts on sitting pretty at number 7.

So I guess given enough time, these things CAN change.

- Today's poem:

Nothing Will Warn You
by Stephen Dunn

Nothing will warn you,
not even the promise of severe weather
or the threats of neighbors muttered
under their breath, unheard by the sonar

in you that no longer functions.
You'll be expecting blue skies, perhaps
a picnic at which you'll be anticipating
a reward for being the best handler

of raw meat in a county known
for its per capita cases of salmonella.
You'll have no memory of those women
with old grievances nor will you guess

that small bulge in one of their purses
could be a derringer. You'll be opening
a cold one, thinking this is the life,
this is the very life I've always wanted.

Nothing will warn you,
no one will blurt out that this picnic
is no picnic, the clouds in the west
will be darkly billowing toward you,

and you will not hear your neighbors'
conspiratorial whispers. You'll be
readying yourself to tell the joke
no one has ever laughed at, the joke

someone would have told you by now
is only funny if told on yourself, but no one
has ever liked you enough to say so.
Even your wife never warned you.

***

the improbable lady

Apr. 21st, 2025 03:04 pm
oliviacirce: (political philosophy//blimey_icons)
[personal profile] oliviacirce
I'm slightly more organized this year than I have been for the last few years of National Poetry Month, which means I have some real bangers coming up in the last week of the month. But I'm starting this week here, with Saeed Jones; I saw someone describe this poem as "heartbreakingly lovely," and it really is—I've had it on my list since I first read it at poetryisnotaluxury in 2023.

In this field of thistle )

imp my wing

Apr. 20th, 2025 06:03 pm
oliviacirce: (swing//oxoniensis)
[personal profile] oliviacirce
Every time I post a George Herbert poem on or around Easter I think to myself, "but what if I posted 'Easter Wings' instead?!" The problem with "Easter Wings" is that it's a pattern poem, so the way it's displayed on the page is essential, and that is very annoying to code here in a way that reads effectively. Conveniently, however, the Wikipedia entry about the poem has some images of both manuscript and early print editions, and the text of the poem can be read at Poetry Foundation. So for Easter, go read "Easter Wings," if you care to, and feel some type of way!

And here's a bonus poem, because I was reading through The Temple (it's devotional poetry season) and I really love this one. I missed a day earlier in the month, so I think we can double up on Herbert—it has been a few years.

Is there in truth no beautie? )

reading

Apr. 21st, 2025 12:49 am
cimorene: (gossip)
[personal profile] cimorene
I finished reading The Abbot (Scott) and The Roots of the Mountains (Morris), but I haven't been able to take time to compose posts about them because I saved a ton of quotations and I really wanted to finish the sweater I've been knitting. I finished weaving in the ends today, so tomorrow I can block it.

Also the remaining Emily Wilson translations I've got are Roman plays by Seneca, not Greek tragedies, and I'm not liking them as much. Also the book is a pdf which is always a pain. I've got another William Morris reread and another Walter Scott novel set in the middle ages to read queued up, but I'm taking a break to reread the original Villeneuve Beauty and the Beast, which I've been meaning to get around to for a while, because it has hilariously elaborate fairy lore backstory but I couldn't remember the specifics.

define life

Apr. 19th, 2025 05:08 pm
oliviacirce: (stacks//bunnymcfoo)
[personal profile] oliviacirce
Every single one of Terrance Hayes' American Sonnets for My Past and Future Assassin is absolutely fucking stellar. I posted one last year, and I'm posting another one this year, but I really recommend the whole book. I like posting sonnets with other sonnets because I love looking at all the things the form can do. Sonnets are magic!! Hayes' sonnet (which I'm posting for today) also directly references the Rilke sonnet I'm posting as a make-up poem for April 16. And if you've been around here at basically any point in the past 18 (?!?!) years of poetry posts, you know I love poetry in conversation with other poetry.

You must change your life )

*

You must change your life )

the indivisible wave of your body

Apr. 19th, 2025 05:40 pm
musesfool: hardison/parker/eliot = ot3 (your desire for explosions and larceny)
[personal profile] musesfool
I made these confetti cookies from Smitten Kitchen this afternoon (pic), but unfortunately, they are way too sweet for me. They are really easy to put together though, especially with the food processor, since you don't need to soften the butter and cream cheese before you get started, and there's no need to chill them before baking.

In other news, I watched the 3 available episodes of season 3 of Leverage: Redemption and enjoyed them, though there was some cognitive dissonance in seeing Noah Wyle as Harry Wilson after 15 intense episodes of The Pitt. Aldis Hodge gets more handsome every time I see him, and the gloves have come off in terms of the writing - they are not even playing anymore about how stuff that is legal still isn't right. Plus, there have been some fun guest stars: casting spoilers ) I look forward to the rest of the season!

***

I haven't posted any Neruda in a while, so here's today's poem:

Sonnet XLVI

Of all the stars I admired, drenched
in various rivers and mists,
I chose only the one I love.
Since then I sleep with the night.

Of all the waves, one wave and another wave,
green sea, green chill, branchings of green,
I chose only the one wave,
the indivisible wave of your body.

All the waterdrops, all the roots,
all the threads of light gathered to me here;
they came to me sooner or later.

I wanted your hair, all for myself.
From all the graces my homeland offered
I chose only your savage heart.

-Pablo Neruda
(Trans. ???)

***
cimorene: white lamb frolicking on green grass (pirouette)
[personal profile] cimorene
We went to Stentorp and petted the lambs!

Here's all the pictures on my pet photo blog

I got a sweater's worth of very soft brown finnwool too.

This is my favorite. I can't get over the expression of this lamb while Wax was petting it 😂. I want this reaction to everything:

the shape of wind against a sheet

Apr. 18th, 2025 09:10 pm
musesfool: a loaf of bread (staff of life)
[personal profile] musesfool
I decided to make the King Arthur pretzel rolls again today (well, half the recipe to make 4 hero-shaped buns) - they only require a first rise of 1 hour and a second of 15 minutes so I could start them at 3 pm and be eating by 5:30. I proofed the dough in this nice bowl I have that has its own lid, and I did it in the unheated oven with the oven light on (I've never done it like that before but I've seen it recommended a few places), and about 50 minutes in, there was a loud popping sound, and it turned out that the carbon dioxide produced by the rising dough popped the lid right off! That had never happened to me before! I figured if that was happening, the dough was proved and it was. They turned out delicious. Definitely recommended.

Here's today's poem:

Singe

I read the tops of the poems, ten or twenty lines down.

In the beginning of the book, a man is leaving his wife
for a lover. By the end, the lover is tired of the man, who wonders
if he made a mistake. The book has the quality of a diary,
the beginnings of poems imply the ends of other poems, other days,
this is a man to know in the morning.

It's raining here, where the book lives for now, and the mood
of fog fits the sadness of the book, I hold it out the window,
bring it back and dry it off with my shirt.

I know a woman who knows the poet. I call her and ask
which tops of poems are true. She wants to know why I don't
finish the poems. I tell her I dreamed last night
I work inside a steam shovel, that the tops of the poems
are my sky, my white clouds. It's impossible to talk
to just one poet, and I'll feel the ears
of people I don't know floating behind me for a week.

There are two children in the book. They must be in college by now,
married or incapable of marriage. I believe the poet was honest
about their names, I consider finding and e-mailing them,
asking if they felt betrayed or like rock stars, some other kind
of celebrity, I suddenly want to know if they play tennis
or like Pop Tarts, if either drove up to see their father
and threw the book at his head, the stab marks on the cover
making him break down and apologize for the hurt, not the poems.

Calvino had an idea for a book that appeared to have been pulled
from a fire. What wasn't there would be as much of the story
as the little bells, the indentations of eye teeth in a pencil,
the shape of wind against a sheet. The bottom of this book
is on fire, is where the lies have fallen, where someone
tells someone they were never loved, where a body is rhapsodized
as the font of renewal, and eight pages later, deplored as snare.

I devise solace for the book: we should count birds, I tell it,
should ride a horse, you and I. Some other time I'll read
the bottom only, read this life and turn each page
with both hands, carry the words in the basket of my flesh,
carry them over, carry them safe, some other time, nor was it ever
too late.

—Bob Hicok

***

here in the midst of it

Apr. 18th, 2025 07:37 pm
oliviacirce: (rainbow//renne)
[personal profile] oliviacirce
A little Jay Hulme for Good Friday, don't you think? I love this one.

Jesus at the Gay Bar )

My dad is home!

Apr. 18th, 2025 03:56 pm
cimorene: white lamb frolicking on green grass (pirouette)
[personal profile] cimorene
From the hospital, that is. He got home yesterday and I spent all day expecting (in vain) my mom or sister to remember to explain the medical mysteries and the outcomes (my sister explained them today). It seems things were caused by medication errors. He missed a heart medication the day of his surgery and was on too many blood thinners, which have been adjusted now. He is still too weak to use his phone though, so I haven't heard from him in a while. Usually he is quite active in our family chat. But this is probably because he didn't get the medication he takes for tremors while he was in the hospital.

I was happily expecting to go pet the spring lambs at Stentorp today, and also buy more local untreated wool at their Easter open house. Then last night I had cramps that were the most painful I have felt in years and years. It didn't hurt as much as when I broke my elbow, but that was almost ten years ago. I do most months have cramps bad enough to curtail how much I move around in spite of taking painkillers, but usually less than a whole day's worth of them, and nothing that I have ever needed stronger painkillers for than ibuprofen. In fact in the last few years they've gotten much less severe and I have mostly been fine with 1000 mg of paracetamol (acetaminophen). I guess I've used ibuprofen instead maybe... three times in the last year, and then usually only 400 mg. Last night I took 1000 mg of paracetamol and 600 mg of ibuprofen and I was crouching over the side of the bed pressing a microwaved wheat hotpack to my belly with one hand and wolfing down buttered toast with the other (my stomach is sensitive and I never take ibuprofen without food), and then I lay there with a hot pack under my lower back and another on my lower abdomen for like... an hour, probably?

I was mentally clinging to this promised treat of petting lambs and getting wool last night, and I got up a little early today. But apparently Wax's new episode of 911 came out early this morning and she spent four hours or something trying and failing to get a copy of it and then she was so mad about bad writing and the continued absence (second week in a row) of her blorbo from the screen that she was unable to... leave her computer chair... or think about anything else... until it was too late to go today. They still have an open house tomorrow, though. We'll have to go tomorrow.

(This bad writing on 911 isn't related to the previously-mentioned fact that apparently her ship is going canon. Since last update, a press release for next season promised to continue the "will-they-won't-they" between the characters, so this seems like confirmation, but also confirmation that they won't before the end of the season. The bad writing is a pretty widespread issue, since it's a network tv primetime soap opera, and continuity, plausibility, and character development are spotty. This week's offensively bad writing is related to a ridiculously implausible medical emergency and melodramatic brush with death [two things that happen frequently], the apparent departure of one of their biggest stars and the first time a main character has departed the show. Either someone died, or it's another fakeout: he did already fake die a year ago, according to Wax, so it's repetitive either way. Seems like maybe the actor is actually leaving now? The character death, besides being silly, implausible, and repetitive of past notes, is not good writing for the character, according to Wax, who is also giving angry jaded snorts at text posts looking forward to characters dealing with "deep grief" because the show is notoriously bad at remembering to show characters grieving or, in general, experiencing psychological consequences after traumatic experiences.)

Couldn't have liked it more.

Apr. 17th, 2025 09:15 pm
hannah: (Zach and Claire - pickle_icons)
[personal profile] hannah
This afternoon, someone told me my chocolate cake was as good as her mother's, which is as heavenly a compliment as I can imagine.

Also of note this afternoon, the slope of light through the sky and onto the buildings told me summer's on its way, and I'm happy to watch it arrive.
musesfool: miranda otto smiling (on the edge of summer)
[personal profile] musesfool
Today's poem:

The Game
by Lorna Crozier

So many conversations between
the tall grass and the wind.
A child hides in that sound,
hunched small
as a rabbit, knees tucked
to her chest, head on her knees,
yet she's not asleep.

She is waiting with a patience
I had long forgotten,
hair wild with grass seeds,
skin silvery with dust.

It was my brother's game.
He was the one who counted,
and I, seven years younger,
the one who hid.

When I ran from the yard,
he found his gang of friends
and played kick-the-can
or caught soft spotted frogs
at the creek so summer-slow.

As darkness fell,
from the kitchen door
someone always called my name.
He was there before me
at the supper table;
milk in his glass
and along his upper lip
glowing like moonlight.
You're so good at that, he'd say,
I couldn't find you.

Now I wade through
hip-high bearded grass
to where she sits so still,
lay my larger hand
upon her shoulder.

Above the wind I say,
You're it,
then kneel beside her
and with the patience
that has lived so long in this body,
clean the dirt from her nose and mouth,
separate the golden speargrass from her hair.

*

going where I'm going

Apr. 17th, 2025 08:23 am
oliviacirce: (illyria//dropsofsunshine)
[personal profile] oliviacirce
We're flying home today after a pretty great week of theatre and friends and birthdays (I am very tired but also very happy), so I'm posting this one from the airport. Too on the nose, or just on theme? Either way, Ada Limón never misses.

Every time I'm in an airport )

One last bell.

Apr. 16th, 2025 09:15 pm
hannah: (Laundry jam - fooish_icons)
[personal profile] hannah
I've commented before on how there's a better quality to cast-offs in New York City - classy trash, basically. Many people have, constantly and all over the place. Some people make careers off it. Personally, I just take it as it comes, like another very nice hoodie sweatshirt that's making its way into regular rotation.

Of note, today I talked to someone about the difficulties I've been having with submitting job applications or pitches to literary agents and how the difference with that is it's energy directed outward, while writing is energy directed inward and helps keep me going that way. I'm not sure what I'd need to do to get enough energy for both, but it feels good to put a set of specific words to it.
musesfool: barbara howard, abbott elementary, smiling (let me see you smile again)
[personal profile] musesfool
I was doing so good with reading books again but alas, I have had the 2nd Finlay Donovan book open in the same spot for a week and instead have been reading fic or watching tv. So have some quick thoughts on TV I have watched:

Silo: I enjoyed this - the first season is better, but the second season has its moments! Unfortunately, Steve Zahn is like a BEC for me, so that put a damper on parts of season 2. Like, he's a decent actor or whatever but he makes me want to turn off my TV every time I hear his voice.

The Residence: I enjoyed this a lot and I hope they make as many seasons of it as Uzo Aduba wants, perhaps in really fancy buildings every time, though I hope they are slightly tighter in terms of story telling - 8 episodes was slightly too much imo.

Abbott Elementary: this season has been a lot of fun and I will be watching the finale tonight!

Elsbeth: still enjoying this also, though I've been doling out the episodes more slowly now that I'm like only 1 behind the current episode.

Severance: I have avoided saying much about this show since for me it's a very mixed bag (great acting, beautiful cinematography, wonky pacing, questionable writing) and I know a lot of people love it, but I hope Tramell Tillman has a long, highly decorated career as a leading man in action movies, musicals, rom-coms, and whatever else his heart desires. I am also always happy to see Dichen Lachman on screen!

Wheel of Time: I have been enjoying this as well, though 8 episodes feels too short given everything that they are covering (note: I haven't read the books and currently don't plan to). spoilers ) Let them all sing more! The singing has been GREAT.

And lastly, here's today's poem:

Object Permanence
by Hala Alya

This neighborhood was mine first. I walked each block twice:
drunk, then sober. I lived every day with legs and headphones.
It had snowed the night I ran down Lorimer and swore I'd stop
at nothing. My love, he had died. What was I supposed to do?
I regret nothing. Sometimes I feel washed up as paper. You're
three years away. But then I dance down Graham and
the trees are the color of champagne and I remember -
There are things I like about heartbreak, too, how it needs
a good soundtrack. The way I catch a man's gaze on the L
and don't look away first. Losing something is just revising it.
After this love there will be more love. My body rising from a nest
of sheets to pick up a stranger's MetroCard. I regret nothing.
Not the bar across the street from my apartment; I was still late.
Not the shared bathroom in Barcelona, not the red-eyes, not
the songs about black coats and Omaha. I lie about everything
but not this. You were every streetlamp that winter. You held
the crown of my head and for once I won't show you what
I've made. I regret nothing. Your mother and your Maine.
Your wet hair in my lap after that first shower. The clinic
and how I cried for a week afterwards. How we never chose
the language we spoke. You wrote me a single poem and in it
you were the dog and I the fire. Remember the courthouse?
The anniversary song. Those goddamn Kmart towels. I loved them,
when did we throw them away? Tomorrow I'll write down
everything we've done to each other and fill the bathtub
with water. I'll burn each piece of paper down to silt.
And if it doesn't work, I'll do it again. And again and again and -

***

their flux and gush, their roar

Apr. 15th, 2025 08:30 pm
musesfool: orange slices (orange you glad)
[personal profile] musesfool
I'm pretty sure I'm going to stay home for Easter this year, so now I need to decide what I'm going to cook. I thought about making the fancy French chicken, or maybe a traditional ham, or I could make crepes for breakfast and then manicotti for dinner (though that seems like a lot of work). I also want to bake something but what? A strawberry galette? Some other strawberry tart type thing (using frozen strawberries)? Strawberry sticky buns? Clearly my brain has focused in on something strawberry but it doesn't have to be! Small batch cheesecake? Confetti cookies? or maybe I will bake some more bread? I'm off both Friday and Monday, so there's time to do several different things, but I just need to decide what and then tailor my shopping list accordingly.

Work continues to be super busy thanks to the search committee stuff on top of all our other work, but aside from some scheduling that is going to be a nightmare, we should have a couple of weeks off from dealing with meetings with them.

Here's today's poem:

Water on Mars
by Clare McDonnell

for Susan

Mars has the memory of water
carved into her parched rock.

Does she remember rivers;
their silkiness, their languid drawl,
their flux and gush, their roar,
clots of frogspawn, green weeds waving?
Did she understand the pebble talk of water,
delight in the twinkle of sun and shade
and the sudden shimmer of fish?

Was there once someone there
who saw a lake as flat as a polished table,
the surface so tense that insects hardly
dented it, darting between lily pads?
Did he notice how wrinkles halo out when
a swallow dips for flies, or how the breeze
strews handfuls of sparkle over the water?

Was there an enormous ocean there
whose curled tongue was shredded on rocks?
Did it suck the sand from beneath a poet's feet
leaving him in unsteady wonder?
Did his child cup handfuls of spilled sun
from its surface, let it seep through her fingers
to become water again, licking her ankles?

In winter, did rain slap him with glass hands?
In summer, did it finger his face softly,
bring back aromas to dryness,
plump up the wall's cushion of moss?
And when it stopped, did each lupin leaf
hold a diamond between its fingers,
was the fissure a stream, did the red rock steam?

***

new paternal health alarm

Apr. 16th, 2025 12:05 am
cimorene: turquoise-tinted vintage monochrome portrait of a flapper giving a dubious side-eye expression (Default)
[personal profile] cimorene
My dad, as regular readers likely remember, is a quadriplegic wheelchair user (partial use of arms, C5/6 injury) dating from a car accident 22 years ago when I was home from college.

Because of all the complications inherent in spinal cord injuries, there are a lot of minor scares and hospitalizations, and these have readjusted my anxiety meter over time so that a sudden ambulance ride to the ER is no longer guaranteed to be alarming, or a memorable milestone; especially here, so far away (my parents live with my sister in Louisiana, so the time difference is 8 hours). Oftentimes I never hear the exact details except that it wasn't too serious until he's back home the next day.

But on the 7th he had a minor inpatient operation to remove a small tumor, but then two days later was sent back in an ambulance after a cardiac event that required three defibrillations. There was evidently a hematoma after the surgery that led to internal bleeding that dropped his blood pressure too low (BP is one of those spinal patient issues). Now he's been there all weekend and seems to be feeling better, but apparently they are still investigating some mysterious (?) symptoms (as always, the degree of mystery that actually exists vs. what doctors have remembered to explain to mom and she has remembered to tell us is uncertain). He isn't being kept cold to control his blood pressure anymore and they moved him out of intensive care, anyway.

This uncertainty is a little tough to deal with, even though as a baseline I'm very inured to periods of elevated worry about his health. I guess it's partly that there's not enough information to judge exactly how worried I should be. But I haven't been this worried about him for a few years at least.

islands and lemons

Apr. 15th, 2025 11:05 am
oliviacirce: (open road//oxoniensis)
[personal profile] oliviacirce
This is a summer poem, and it's not actually that summery today. But it's also a New York City poem, and a love poem, and I've been wanting to post it while in New York for a while. We'll be down on Bleecker later tonight to see a show at the Lucille Lortel.

It is music opening and closing )

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pearwaldorf: donna noble looking up at something. light falls on her face from above (Default)
a very Nietzschean fish

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