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Nov. 22nd, 2019 01:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pearwaldorfThere are not many occasions in which I feel like I have been changed on a fundamental level after reading a fic. Certainly I have been affected, moved, or kicked my feet in sheer delight, but it's incredibly rare that I finish something and feel like the world has shifted. The only time I'd felt this way was after I Had No Idea I Had Been Traveling, which remains probably the best fanfic I've ever read in my life. I watched Torchwood just so I could read this.
In my head, it feels like Sandman, the way a piece of art steps across the landscape and leaves everything changed afterwards. This series blasted my horizons wide open with regard to what a determined author can do with the canon gives you and expand upon it more than the show ever could. (And to be honest, I think the authors understand Jack and Ianto better than Davies ever did.) It is queer, kinky, and deeply, achingly true, and I am grateful for it.
I finished Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach a few days ago, aka the Crowley goes to therapy fic. And then I ugly cried, because I think that's the only appropriate response after going on a long emotional journey with two people you've come to care about. And then I looked up and everything was different.
The author is/was either a therapist or has gone to a lot of therapy, judging from their familiarity with the practices, behaviors, and terminology of such. At first Aubrey, our OC, is basically a vessel via which therapeutic practices and methodologies are introduced. But as the story proceeds, she reveals a personality and reasons for why she might have gotten into this profession. And so she works with Crowley, coaxing and supporting him to do the work of figuring his shit out. It's slow going, and Crowley's petulant, dickish, and scared a lot through the process, as I would expect.
And through the course of this therapeutic relationship, they both change; individually and together. There is a moment where Aubrey affirms something to Crowley that not even Aziraphale has ever said (or could say tbh), and it's one of the deepest expressions of love (yes love) and acceptance I think you could give to somebody like Crowley.
In this fandom, there is a tendency to focus on the two idiots involved, because there is so much to explore in their relationship. But there are also things they can't provide each other, and it's always enlightening and gratifying when it's done well.
[content notes: discussion of Abrahamic religion, references to past child abuse. It's pretty strongly implied Aubrey is a survivor of such, and direct reference is made to God as an abusive parent. It is never implied the religion and abuse are connected to each other.]
In my head, it feels like Sandman, the way a piece of art steps across the landscape and leaves everything changed afterwards. This series blasted my horizons wide open with regard to what a determined author can do with the canon gives you and expand upon it more than the show ever could. (And to be honest, I think the authors understand Jack and Ianto better than Davies ever did.) It is queer, kinky, and deeply, achingly true, and I am grateful for it.
I finished Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach a few days ago, aka the Crowley goes to therapy fic. And then I ugly cried, because I think that's the only appropriate response after going on a long emotional journey with two people you've come to care about. And then I looked up and everything was different.
The author is/was either a therapist or has gone to a lot of therapy, judging from their familiarity with the practices, behaviors, and terminology of such. At first Aubrey, our OC, is basically a vessel via which therapeutic practices and methodologies are introduced. But as the story proceeds, she reveals a personality and reasons for why she might have gotten into this profession. And so she works with Crowley, coaxing and supporting him to do the work of figuring his shit out. It's slow going, and Crowley's petulant, dickish, and scared a lot through the process, as I would expect.
And through the course of this therapeutic relationship, they both change; individually and together. There is a moment where Aubrey affirms something to Crowley that not even Aziraphale has ever said (or could say tbh), and it's one of the deepest expressions of love (yes love) and acceptance I think you could give to somebody like Crowley.
In this fandom, there is a tendency to focus on the two idiots involved, because there is so much to explore in their relationship. But there are also things they can't provide each other, and it's always enlightening and gratifying when it's done well.
[content notes: discussion of Abrahamic religion, references to past child abuse. It's pretty strongly implied Aubrey is a survivor of such, and direct reference is made to God as an abusive parent. It is never implied the religion and abuse are connected to each other.]
