Anthony Bourdain

[pearwaldorf]

Hey. If you’re feeling suicidal or you think you might hurt yourself, please consider calling one of these numbers or IM/text a chat service. Reach out to the people who love you. Hell, talk to me. I’m not a therapist or mental health professional but I’ll do my best. You are wanted here. You are loved.

If you have the spoons, check in on the people you care about.

Years ago, I had a series of continuous dreams wherein Anthony Bourdain and I were carrying on an affair. We would meet in small out of the way hotels and have pho afterwards. (There was always a pho place within walking distance, no matter what city we were in.) Over food, we would talk, and we would give each other shit, but I never felt condescended to for being younger or having less life experience. I still see nothing that contradicts this elaborate construction of my subconscious.

So you know how when you think back, you can see the turns in your path that would have lead to a completely different life and person? There’s a me that went all-in on the goth thing, and is hopefully partnered with somebody like Taliesin Jaffe. There’s also a me who fought hard to go to the fancy private liberal arts college in town, and probably became one of those people who theoretically believes in structural racism but thinks Black Lives Matter protests are tacky. (I bet she married a doctor or corporate lawyer or something and is quietly dying inside but doesn’t really understand what’s wrong.) I know for sure she did not read Kitchen Confidential.

Some things become part of you, so deep it’s like a tree growing around a bike. It is inconceivable it was not something you were born with, because it’s been so long since you were without. The sensibilities that Bourdain helped instill in me are some of those things. I watched a truly staggering amount of early Food Network, and it was mostly people standing behind kitchen sets with gleaming sheet pans narrating the process. But A Cook’s Tour? This fucker was going out into the world, digging into the influences that affect something as intimate as what you put in your body. The food as lens, but also as stimulus for conversation, sharing. Discussion of but not limited to: geopolitics, history, oppression, atrocity.

I think a lot about the episodes of Parts Unknown where bad shit happens or has happened: Beirut, Palestine, pretty much all of Africa and most of southeast Asia. And I also think about how this is probably the only exposure a casual (as in, not actively seeking these things out) Western audience gets to a native of these countries talking about their history and culture, that is facilitated through an empathetic, sympathetic source. And that’s really fucked up.

Nico said it better than I can so I’m just going to quote him:

Was going to talk about how much I value Bourdain's love and respect for the Philippines, our people, and our food, & now I've seen already this morning the same sentiment from people re: Gaza, Iran, Portugal, China, Ethiopia, Egypt, & on & on. He loved us and loved to know us.

The most radical and human thing Anthony Bourdain did was to go to places we have been told are Other, to be feared or exoticized. Mind, this does not necessarily mean to other countries  (the West Virginia episode, for example), but it can. And then he went, “Hey. We’re not all that different. We want the same things. Now let’s get some tasty food and drink and talk about that.” And it should not be revolutionary to do such a thing, and it pains me so much that it still is.

I’m not going to say that Anthony Bourdain is solely responsible for my interest and curiosity about food and travel, because that’s silly. I would have always had some level of interest in both, although I do not think it would be this specific kind. I am thankful I am a kinder, more empathetic and thoughtful person because of him, and I hope I can pass some of that influence on to others.