(no subject)
Feb. 11th, 2016 02:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pearwaldorfFriends, it has been A Couple of Days.
My dad called yesterday for his usual quarterly harangue about how I should be more financially responsible so I can do... idk, something. I mean, it is good for me to be out of credit card debt (and I'm working on that), but not at the expense of my general enjoyment of life. I'm not willing to eat brown rice and seaweed for a year to save money. And what am I going to do with that money anyways, buy property? A down payment for anything resembling a decent condo in this city is at least $20K. I could go on a lot of vacations with that money, or invest it, or do something. Despite being on the upper end of the bell curve, I have Millennial Problems. I'm in a shitton of student debt I will never pay off, and if I have money left over after paying my expenses I am pleasantly surprised. And then I spend it, because yolo and small luxuries are the only things I'll ever be able to afford.
So Dad calls Husband, because they have things they need to discuss about repayment of a loan that was extended to us in a dire time. And Husband said, "You know, for somebody who expects you to have your financial shit together your dad was really bad at teaching you how to do that." Upon retrospect this should be obvious and yet it feels like a revelation? (But I am most oblivious about myself, in many ways.) And it is fresh enough that I am newly resentful about it. Husband and I have decided independently but also collectively we're never taking financial assistance from my parents again. This means, of course, we're probably never going to be able to afford to buy property (an offer of down payment assistance was extended earlier this year), but I feel OK with that. Also, since my dad never ever talks about anything other than financial or car stuff with me, I guess we're just not going to communicate until Mom tells me he gets hit by a bus or has cancer or something.
I feel much more OK with this than I feel I should. He's an adequate parent, and he's done the best he can. But his communication disrupts routines that I have constructed to avoid thinking about things that make me feel shitty, specifically all the things that I'm never going to be able to have anyways. I guess I could do the mature thing and actually try and talk it out, but why bother? This is easier and saves us both effort.
My dad called yesterday for his usual quarterly harangue about how I should be more financially responsible so I can do... idk, something. I mean, it is good for me to be out of credit card debt (and I'm working on that), but not at the expense of my general enjoyment of life. I'm not willing to eat brown rice and seaweed for a year to save money. And what am I going to do with that money anyways, buy property? A down payment for anything resembling a decent condo in this city is at least $20K. I could go on a lot of vacations with that money, or invest it, or do something. Despite being on the upper end of the bell curve, I have Millennial Problems. I'm in a shitton of student debt I will never pay off, and if I have money left over after paying my expenses I am pleasantly surprised. And then I spend it, because yolo and small luxuries are the only things I'll ever be able to afford.
So Dad calls Husband, because they have things they need to discuss about repayment of a loan that was extended to us in a dire time. And Husband said, "You know, for somebody who expects you to have your financial shit together your dad was really bad at teaching you how to do that." Upon retrospect this should be obvious and yet it feels like a revelation? (But I am most oblivious about myself, in many ways.) And it is fresh enough that I am newly resentful about it. Husband and I have decided independently but also collectively we're never taking financial assistance from my parents again. This means, of course, we're probably never going to be able to afford to buy property (an offer of down payment assistance was extended earlier this year), but I feel OK with that. Also, since my dad never ever talks about anything other than financial or car stuff with me, I guess we're just not going to communicate until Mom tells me he gets hit by a bus or has cancer or something.
I feel much more OK with this than I feel I should. He's an adequate parent, and he's done the best he can. But his communication disrupts routines that I have constructed to avoid thinking about things that make me feel shitty, specifically all the things that I'm never going to be able to have anyways. I guess I could do the mature thing and actually try and talk it out, but why bother? This is easier and saves us both effort.
