Dear ING Direct,

I just encountered the most hair-tearingly stupid operator I've had the misfortune of speaking to in a while. Due to an unfortunate collision of being paid at the end of the month and your completely asinine policy of sending out paper checks only when there's money in the account AND DEDUCTING THE BALANCE BEFORE IT'S EVEN REACHED MY LANDLORD, I had to find alternate means of paying my rent. All I wanted to do was find out how to mail the check back so you can redeposit the funds in my account, and not listen to the stupid "You're in the home stretch! Hang on for just another moment!" lady every thirty fucking seconds for ten minutes. Please hire people whose brain gears don't come to a screeching halt when you ask them simple questions, and please don't deduct money from my account when it hasn't actually reached people I need to pay. That's three cents of interest you bitches owe me.

Solidarity in aggravation,
Me

P.S. You're an Internet bank. Why the hell don't you have email customer service? Work on it!

John Scalzi taped bacon to his cat.

...Yeah. But it is funny.

Bill Gates and Justin Timberlake zomg!

WTF, man? WTF?