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pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)
former hook Shepard

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Jan. 6th, 2017 01:08 pm

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pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)
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My Writing

Most of it is on AO3 at [archiveofourown.org profile] pearwaldorf but shorter works reside on Tumblr

Transformative Works Policy

In the unlikely event you would actually do such a thing, blanket permission for derivative works (sequels, remixes, podfic, fanart, etc.) is granted, provided you link me back to it so I can flail at you. Credit and a link back to the original work is appreciated, but not necessary. If a work is archive-locked, please archive-lock the derivative work as well. Thanks.
[Bad username or site:   @ archiveofourown.org]
pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)
Things I want to write about but things haven't quite jelled enough yet:
  • The Good Place and its repudiation of "hell is other people" in the best way, also fuck soulmates
  • A spoilery thing in Horizon: Zero Dawn that fucked me up a lot
  • the Finn/Poe/Rey street racing AU that I am struggling to not make too much like the Fast and the Furious
  • how much I hate the scanning mechanic in Mass Effect: Andromeda

pearwaldorf: (misc - get excited)
Months ago, Lim was kind enough to solicit me for a piece on vidding for a zine she was putting together. For various reasons, I had to drop out, which I still regret. (I was going to write a thing on this Luke and Rey vid set to "Radioactive", and how the song and the source work together to make both things fresh and lively and new. Of course, I'm sure it's much better in my head than it would have turned out anyways.)

The zine
is now live, and it's really freaking great.
pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)
Cody finished Horizon: Zero Dawn and it is such a fantastic game. The world building is thoughtful and nuanced, and it is a delight to behold. The characters are all great, but especially the female NPCs Aloy encounters in her travels, like Talanah and Vanasha. 
 
I didn’t realize at first that Ashly Burch voices Aloy, because this particular milieu is so different from what I normally encounter her in. She imparts Aloy with the perfect amount of confidence, compassion, and sarcasm. Along with some really great facial animations (I love the really subtle smirks she makes when confronted with something she knows she’ll stomp into the ground), it makes her a great PC to spend hours with. (Also she is totally lesbians. Like, it’s not blatantly obvious, but the way she reacts when pretty girls/women talk to her? Yeah.)
 
I love the way the game shows you the world as it is, and then peels it back, layer by layer, to show you how it was. And in doing so, it has a lot to say about hope, survival, cultural memory, and legacy; in some cases, literal seeds of a garden you’ll never get to see. 
 
If you don’t want to play it or don’t have a PS4, I highly recommend finding a playthrough on YouTube. It is well worth your time.
pearwaldorf: shepard and garrus on menae (me - s&g menae)
Mass Effect: Andromeda is upon us, and so is a particular group in Bioware fandom. Like, every fandom has squee-harshers, but I feel like the Bioware ones are especially vocal and anticipatory. Bioware fandom was pretty chill when I joined Tumblr, but the announcement and lead-up to Inquisition was one of the weirdest periods of my (very long) fandom life.

Fretting about the thing is normal, but istfg people were thinking up shit to worry about. About two weeks before release, it seemed like my entire dashboard was climbing the walls just for something to do. This was, of course, before I learned to curate ruthlessly. I think it's been a lot better leading up to Andromeda because of that. But there's still been some stuff, and it just bums me out. I mean, some of it is Bioware (y'all. Have you ever seen a straight woman with a side shave like Cora's?), but a lot of it feels like people wanting to tear the game down before it even has a chance to do its thing.

I want to see people be happy and excited about new canon, however they felt about the ending of ME3. I want to hear about their Ryders, what they know about them now and what they hope to discover later. I want to know who they want their Ryders to bang, and who they want to bang. I don't think that's too much to ask. There will be plenty of time after the game is out to bitch about its flaws.
pearwaldorf: martha jones from doctor who (dw - martha smirky)
In "honor" of the 20th anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, please have the very first paper I wrote for library school (which at this point is half as hold as the series itself, good god): an illustration of the life cycle of information as examined through Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I can't find my works cited page, but if you're really really curious about a reference I could probably dig it up.

Read more... )
pearwaldorf: shepard and garrus on menae (me - s&g menae)
Content notes: blithering, grief

Everything remains not quite right.

Read more... )
pearwaldorf: you're making kira exasperated. stop it. (ds9 - kira headdesk)
Back in Seattle.

Owe many replies to comments, on fic and on Dreamwidth. They will be forthcoming.

I am tired, and I miss my grandma. But it'll be OK. 

pearwaldorf: (dw - tardis)
Content notes: death, grief

Read more... )
pearwaldorf: shepard and garrus on menae (me - s&g menae)
Content notes: cancer, family illness/death

Read more... )

I'm so tired and sad. 
pearwaldorf: (misc - get excited)
Chocolate Box creator reveals have happened! I wrote a Bodhi/Galen story for Merfilly. Uncharacteristically, I am quite fond of this one out of the gate. 

Fandom: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Warnings: Major Character Death
Relationships: Galen Erso/Bodhi Rook
 
“Thanks mate. You probably saved my ass.”
 
Bodhi gets a low, rusty chuckle in response, like the researcher isn’t used to laughing. Or he did, and for whatever reason, now does not.
 
“Then I have done one good thing here, and I am glad.” He puts out his hand. “Galen Erso.”
 
“Bodhi. Bodhi Rook.”
 
 
Six moments where Bodhi and Galen’s lives intersected.
pearwaldorf: shepard and garrus on menae (me - s&g menae)
C and I are trying to watch more movies this year. I don't know why 1.5 to 2 hours of a self-contained thing somehow seems more difficult than the equivalent time of TV episodes, but it does. 

Also I am trying to log more movies that I have watched. For some reason I will faithfully log every book I start reading, but I will forget to do so for movies. I have a Letterboxd account if you're truly curious. (As it's mostly for record keeping, I rarely review.)

So, here is a quick run-down of movies I've seen in the past month.

Hidden Figures
is delightful and inspiring. Taraji, Olivia, and Janelle are amazing, I was really annoyed by Kevin Costner's white savior character, and I was delighted to see Aldis Hodge and Mahershala Ali, who I was not expecting. I was impressed by Kirsten Dunst's white lady character, who is instantly recognizable from your Facebook acquaintances and replies to black people on Twitter. The whole "I know you think I hate you but I don't" exchange was brutal. I don't want to say it was simplistic, but it was very straightforward. That probably served the message of the story better, but it felt a little glossed over, too pat to be real history.

John Wick
is a really enjoyable action movie once you get past the upsetting animal death. There's a surprising amount of worldbuilding in it, stuff that's just on the edges and makes you want more exploration. The stunts are so fucking well done, which I suppose is unsurprising given that the directors were Keanu Reeves's stunt doubles on The Matrix. There is deep thought and attention paid to the fight choreography, and Wick's economy of movement in killing is very reminiscent of Kurosawa's samurai. There's never a wasted punch, kick, or shot. Wick actually reloads his gun when the clip runs out, which I don't think I've ever seen in an action movie before. 

This is all well and good, but there's also a ridiculous gleeful spirit of camp to the movie. I was telling C that it reminded me a lot of Boondock Saints (which is a stupid movie that I love a great deal), and not just because Willem Dafoe is in it. The dialogue is hilarious and overwrought, and some fine actors (Ian McShane among them) get to chew the scenery with great relish. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun watching a movie.

Keanu is best paired with John Wick in my opinion, because it's a completely different kind of stupid and also parodies John Wick. Also there's a really cute kitten in it. 

I finally got the chance to watch Moonlight, after hearing raves about it for months. I thought I would be overwhelmed and amazed, based on people's reactions, but it's the sort of movie that's quiet and understated, wondrous because it's so subtle. It feels like the sort of fanfiction I have always wanted to write, the minutiae of gestures indicative of things that run deep. C called it just artsy enough, which I think is fair. It's so beautifully shot, and I love the way the harsh fluorescents contrast with the dark blue palette.

There is so much craft and regard put into this movie, and every character is treated as complex. I wrote this before about Luke Cage, but I think it applies here as well. This is what happens when you let people make art about themselves. You get beautiful, nuanced, thoughtful media that everybody else can watch and appreciate, and it is a fucking joy. 
pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)
I probably have a bunch of things to say but it's after 9pm on a Sunday and I did a lot of shit today, so have a cute survey about my significant other/me instead.

Who's oldest? C, by a year and eight months
Who was interested? We both were, but C made the first move.
Same high school? We grew up in different states, so no.
Worst temper? Me. I'm the one who gets cranky and/or anxious meltdowns. 
More social? C. I have become much more misanthropic over the years.
Hardest working? C, by far.
Most stubborn? We're both stubborn in different ways.
Who makes the most mess? Me, although we both let the common areas get super bad together.
Wakes up first? C, because he works earlier. We are both morning people now on the weekends, which is very confusing.
Who cooks the most? C enjoys it more, so he does more of it.
Who cries more? Me. I cry at eeeeeeverything.
Who is the better singer? Neither of us.
Hogs the remote? We don't watch enough live TV that it's ever an issue.
Better driver? C by far, as his insurance offers will attest.
Better cook? C
Smartest? C's quite good at predicting politics, for which I am deeply resentful about, because he's usually right. Also he's figured out things about nanotechnology that PhDs haven't, so I'd say he's pretty fucking smart.
More romantic? We're not really into traditional romantic gestures, but I have always felt cared for in the most important ways.
How long have you been together? We've known each other for 17 years, we've been married for almost 14. (We got married very young, which is a silly story for another time.)

pearwaldorf: black widow with explosions behind her (avengers - black widow explosions)
/crawls out from under giant pile of water bottles and tissues, gasping

I YET LIVE!

This last month kicked my ass, to be frank. A perfect storm of "oh god Trump really is our president now", SAD, depression, new medication, bad family news, and illness knocked me for a bit of a loop, and it's taken a while to readjust to whatever this new normal is. It has required a reconfiguration of spoons, attention, whatever you want to call it. I haven't had to do that in a while, and it's going to take a little to get used to. 

It is clear to me that something is going to have to give way to make room in my life for volunteering and activism, and I'm not quite sure what it is yet. Some fandom stuff, maybe. Or the copious amounts of time I spend loafing. I am an indolent slothful person. I deeply enjoy it, and I am loath to give up some of it. On the other hand, a little more structure isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

I read this article about the letters people wrote to President Obama, and the people who curate them. I think there are a lot of things that he should lose sleep over for the rest of his life, but I still respect and admire him a great deal personally. The thing that strikes me is how much care and thought was put into this thing we call the Obama administration (lots of awful things too, but that is a post for another time), down to choosing the letters he'd read every night. It is hard to imagine the same thing happening in the White House now.
pearwaldorf: shepard and garrus on menae (me - s&g menae)
Fandom Snowflake Challenge banner

Day 10

In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (More than one is okay, too.) Tell us about it, tell us why you love it, give us some examples and recs. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

To no one's surprise, I adore fake relationships, especially with its other companions, pining and forced intimacy. There is something delightful about having to pretend/deny/suppress you don't have feelings for somebody while you're pretending to be in a relationship with them. And then when everybody figures it out, it's great too! It is the best trope of all time and I can't get enough of it.

Recs (The Force Awakens, MCU, Sleepy Hollow) below the cut! If you have recs for fake relationship fics in any fandoms we have in common, please please leave them in the comments.
Read more... )
pearwaldorf: it's not often a friendship lasts two lifetimes (ds9 - dax sisko bffs)
I'm a couple days behind on Snowflake Challenge, because days 8 and 9 are a little more involved. In the meantime, please have this meme I borrowed from [personal profile] hannah :

Because we never really know each other as well as we think, in response to this post I'd like you to ask a question. Anything about which you are curious, anything you feel you ought to know about me. Silly, serious, personal, fannish. Ask away.
pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)

Fandom Snowflake Challenge banner


Day 8

In your own space, make a list of at least 3 things that you like about yourself. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I am adaptable to changing circumstances, and can usually figure out how to deal with them.
I try to be kind, and recognize that becoming a good person is a journey not a destination.
I am learning to let go of the dumb judgmental things but hold fast on the important stuff.

pearwaldorf: martha jones from doctor who (dw - martha smirky)
I feel like I should make some sort of post saying hello and welcome to all the people who are here because of the friending meme, but it feels a little like cheating when outside of the Snowflake Challenge I don't actually post much on Dreamwidth at all. I'm not talking like not every day, but months will go by without an entry sometimes. Dreamwidth is where I post when I feel like something's too personal for Twitter or Tumblr. I feel less exposed here. There is no security in obscurity, I know that intellectually, but it makes me feel better.

Things I am into right now that I may or may not actually talk about here:

Critical Role - Yes, it's a D&D live play webstream. Yes, the episodes are 3-5 hours long. It is some of the richest, loveliest character-driven storytelling I've ever seen. My 2016 improved markedly after I started watching it. 

KOTOR 2 - I love Star Wars and I love Bioware (and Obsidian I guess), so I'm actually really surprised it took me this long to finally watch a playthrough. This way, it's basically a visual novel all about war, trauma, the Force, and dealing with all of that. It is everything I ever wanted in a Star Wars game, and I am very sad there will never be a sequel.

Star Wars in general - Somebody in their review of The Force Awakens said it gave them back a little bit of their soul they tried to ignore was missing. I don't think I can overstate how much the prequels broke my heart. Like, I lived and breathed Star Wars in my childhood, and after the prequels, I just stopped. I'm glad with enough time, transformative fanwork, and new canon I'm able to enjoy this thing I have loved for so long again.

Yuri On Ice - This is just so perfect and soft and comforting and beautiful. I honestly do not know if I would have gotten through the end of the year without it. I love it as a fan, but also as a writer. The episode pacing is perfect, and the way the Big Reveal makes everything fit together even better just fills me with astonishment and a little bit of jealousy. 
pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)

Fandom Snowflake Challenge banner


Day 06

In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your wish-list if you feel comfortable doing so. Maybe someone will grant a wish. Check out other people's posts. Maybe you will grant a wish. If any wishes are granted, we'd love it if you link them to this post.

Yuri On Ice
Please tell me somebody has written the Phichit and Yuri practice kissing with each other fic, and done it well. It doesn't have to be romantic, I just want shenanigans and Phichit teasing Yuri about imagining it's Victor he's kissing.

[edit:] My friend [archiveofourown.org profile] notcaycepollard wrote this lovely and beautiful fic for me and it's so so great and you should read it.

KOTOR 2
I just want more fic and meta in general. I read through everything on AO3, and friends have linked me to some stuff on ff.net, but unless there's some secret cache hiding on a Star Wars messageboard from 2006, there's not much out there.

General
I always like recs for vids in fandoms I'm into. Hell, if the vid is well-done and I'm even vaguely familiar with the canon, I'll watch it. 

Concrit on my writing so I know where I can improve. I could ask my writing buddies, but it's such a laborious task. Also I can't ask any randos because I need to hear this from somebody whose writing I like and respect. 
pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)

Fandom Snowflake Challenge banner


Day 5

In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create.


OK, this I can do. One of the things I always liked to do before I became a creator was to shove things I liked into people's faces, and somehow people liked it as opposed to telling me to go away.

This will be mostly fic and vids, for various fandoms I'm currently into.

Yuri On Ice
(Victor/Yuri unless indicated, spoilers for entire series)

Morning Breaks in Saint Petersburg by neomeruru (nsfw)
Yuuri moves in with Victor in Russia and makes himself at home, with some help. 
 
This is sweet and lovely, and then lovely and hot.

taking over this town
by kevystel
Yuuri lets himself believe. 
 
This is beautifully, achingly perfect.

Death of a bachelor (vid) by vityanikiforova

This song is absolutely perfect for both of them.

back for more, back for more
by chii (nsfw)
The one where Victor helps Yuuri into his skates and is stepped on, just a little bit. 

That should probably be enough for you to figure out if you want to read it or not. 

flung out of space
 by rhapsodies (Mila Babacheva/Sara Crispino)
Sara Crispino has purple eyes and a heart-shaped smile, and Mila is screwed right from the start. 
 
I know we don't know much about these ladies, but I'm still delighted by the relationship that's been built in this fic. I also love this Victor.

KOTOR 2

to balance the weight we've swallowed by thissugarcane (f!Exile/Atton)
Atton recovers beautifully, even throws her a wicked grin. "The pinnacle of our working relationship, Surik," he counters. Just for a moment, he sways into a fighting stance, before casually slouching against the turret pedestal. Meetra watches his hands, his feet, as he flows from fighting form to slouch, and despite herself, is drawn in. 
 
I like the way this unfurls, the way they circle around each other until they meet.

here we are safe, here in this quiet by persiflet (Bao-Dur & f!Exile)
He knows people assume this problem of his started after Malachor, but to be honest it was always there. Malachor just made everything more difficult. 
 
This is perfect and melancholy, and the Bao-Dur voice is great.

Selfish by Kian (f!Exile/Atton, Carth)
The Exile says goodbye to the wrong man. 
 
The Exile has a conversation. Oh, this aches.

Star Wars (various)


I seem to have a difficult time finding good Star Wars vids, so I'm going to just huck a bunch of these in here.

I Ran by HoneyMonsterNoNo (Kylo Ren, Rey)
Moody, nicely opposes the two characters.

Sum of our Parts by janicerands (Finn/Rey)
rey & finn figure out the hero business. and also fall in space love.

Flares by skywalkcrs (Luke)
Beautiful and made me very emoshe.

Wait For It by pixiedanes (Leia)
Leia keeps losing, keeps going.

There are a great many force4ham mashups, but this one was deeply, deeply affecting. 

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out by ohvienna (Han/Leia)
“I really wanted something different for us.” She thought of her daydreams of the two of them flying across the galaxy together, carefree at last. - Star Wars: Bloodline

This is so sad and it fucked me up so much, especially after Carrie Fisher died.

Can't Hold Us by R1GHTEOUS (Clone Wars, clone soldiers)
Maybe one day I will stop having feelings about the clones. Today is not that day.

Dragon Age

Some of the most unusual and beautiful fanworks I've ever seen are made by [tumblr.com profile] unklarity, who makes character-themed boxes. I run a Merrill themed blog on Tumblr, and she made a full-sized and a mini one for her. They're filled with all sorts of wonderfully witchy things like candles, stones, and other things representative of the characters. Please check her tag for more of these lovely things. 
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